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About this blog

Transitions aren't short in real life

Entries in this blog

 

You shouldn't cry

When your staring at the floor , injured beyond all comprehension, the fight stops being about whatever it was you started it for. Now the subject changes to, "Can you finish what you started". The easiest time to run away is right before you complete the thing you set out to do. That's when your defenses are down, when your on your last breath, and the only thing keeping you staring at that wall of a goal is your own strength, your daddy isn't going to go running through it with a sarcastic sm

Lucandrake

Lucandrake

 

Yay summers over

I'm amazed at how fast summer flew by. The few tricks I've learned a long the way, and how the emotion of "awesome" sitting in my heart for opening my eyes to new abilities and tricks I never knew I possessed. Now I'm left with a decision, a choice, to either give it my all or stay chill as I've always ever been. Do I stay wearing my mask? Appear tired when the race merely started? Or do I go ahead and munch at my brain, and force it to work, and better itself as a human being to further prepare

Lucandrake

Lucandrake

 

What is pro

Pro isn't defined by the term "Professional" as most would assume. Since a "Professional" still has the ability to mess up, and is liable after doing so. Define Pro, not as someone who excels exponentially at a subject he or she prefers as a means to waste time. Define Pro, as a way of describing someone who has managed to gain the ability of control over their life. A Pro is not a rich powerful human being, a Pro is a open minded kind hearted soul. A Pro is calm in the majority of tests,struggl

Lucandrake

Lucandrake

 

Things that make "Sonic" "Sonic"

Lately I've been discussing and re-beating the entire Sonic series with a group of local friends. From Sonic Mega Collection to the Museum Gamecube game which included Sonic CD (A game we all agreed disappointed but delivered on some level, it's seriously not "the" best or no where near "the" best Sonic game ever made as so many claim) . I am however the only one in the group to have beaten "Sonic The Hedgehog 06", and because of this reason and the fact that I introduced and sparked curiosity i

Lucandrake

Lucandrake

 

The entire day, my room, my thoughts

As I start writing this, I am currently cleaning my room. This afternoon I woke up tired, depressed, out of thought, and wondering to myself, "What the hell am I doing?".   The only thing I can think of to make me remotely happy at the moment is clean up my room and whatever else in the house that needs to be cleaned.   I feel like a whining kid, constantly screaming at the public and others for all my problems, even though I realized nearly 2 years ago, that they are all MY problems. I always

Lucandrake

Lucandrake

 

The Bravery - Fearless

I relapse like a bitch when it comes to games. Thankfully I've learned to let go of them over the years to the point where it doesn't effect me as much as they used too. Yesterday I went out for a walk for the first time in months, it was rigorous! When I came back my shoulders where hurting, from a walk! I know it's not something to be proud of, but I felt alive, I felt human, and here in reality. Instead of still in a fucking imaginary world where the only pain I feel is the pain of loneliness

Lucandrake

Lucandrake

 

So I hate...

It's weird, and messed up. But I hate everything. How can anyone possibly hate everything? I'm asking myself how it's possible to even appear hateful in this world. Those that expose anger and fronts constantly do so in the act of "love"; yet they appear to hate more then I do. So how is it that in reality, I end up hating the world more? I "pretend" to be nice yes, I "act" sincere and caring for sure. But I only do it because I honestly don't know how to feel anything like that. I have been put

Lucandrake

Lucandrake

 

rawr

We are told to deal with our struggles and push forward. We are told that fear isn't a character that is meant to destory us, but better us and give us the strength through the experience we are forced to learn through. Happy endings are present in all of our lives, but for every smiling hero there is a despised vilian on the other side, who was ridiculed and stamped with the word "evil". He is now on the center of hatred, but this is where ignorance begins, most people don't realize that just l

Lucandrake

Lucandrake

 

New Blogs appear clumped, who cares?

It's been over a month since the website went down due to some lame script kiddies. O well, not much happened except the idea of me controlling my emotions :/.   It sounds weird, but I'm depressed as fuck, and I'm not letting it get to me. I can come up with at least 5 different situations in the past month that I just wanted to brake down and cry (my ass off, rivers of tears pouring down my cheeks and disabling human contact for a while), but I never did. It's like all I have to do now is smile

Lucandrake

Lucandrake

 

My Spider-Web has cought me yet again.

It's 3 A.M.   I'm in my room yet again, staring at the monitor dreaming of how my life "should" be. I can't get a grip of myself, I'm noticing the paleness of my skin (for the sunlight has only been seen twice this entire week).   I feel like I'm loosing myself again, in my own world where all I do everyday is grind in the imaginary, hope in the dreamworld, and accomplish nothing while gaining the self-portrait of superiority. I'm still a child, I have 2 months left to grow up. But I've been do

Lucandrake

Lucandrake

 

Journal Chronicles: Part 7 (incomplete)

The day begins with my eyes hovering over the smoke filled sky that's been hidden behind the cliff I'm currently standing on. If I was to turn around I'd see nothing but the grounds act of "poffing" seemlessly as, if to shout the words "Jump" at me. Without hesitation I quickly leap, and as the smoke screen begins to clear up, I regonize the actions and events of present as they unfold. I laugh and seemlessly appear shocked as if surprised by the effects of my causes.             I couldn't fini

Lucandrake

Lucandrake

 

Journal Chronicles: Part 6

The desire to help is in some cases, the emotion of demeaning and above power to the other end. Many however would agree, that the attribute is a plus in any human, and that when the practice is put into effect, both sides benifit. On one hand, you got the emotionless someone become a toy, with the ability to self manipulate its own batteries, the owner of the toy now has a convieniant additions towards the reason of ownership, and a new friend in suddenly realising that mistreatmeant of it will

Lucandrake

Lucandrake

 

Journal Chronicles: Part 5

So...excuses! Lets begin a paper with some. I'm tired. I'm bored. I'm sad. I'm deppressed. I don't feel like it. Maybe if I...., Maybe if I didn't...., Maybe if we..., Maybe if we didn't... what if? When if? Why? Why should I? Why shouldn't I? Maybe later. Maybe tommorow. Maybe next week. Maybe next month. Maybe next year. Maybe next decade. Maybe some other time. I don't know. Tons of more to write on paper! But I won't. You already know all of them anyways, considering you use about 100 at a t

Lucandrake

Lucandrake

 

Journal Chronicles: Part 4

When presenting a case to the employers of mass control, the title "need money for education" is read "Hungry Male/Female/Dog Number XXX-XX-XXXX". Rich swines do not make dough anymore, as the old once did, in the past having a brain, balls, and the courage to never back down was enough to control a mass, now in days the same fools are merely used to counter those that were once put in control. So we wait, those with the 3 attributes, to be given a bone/plate of food, and enough money to buy the

Lucandrake

Lucandrake

 

Journal Chronicles: Part 3

Patience. A act of self-enduring norm, a much need skill in this world of everlasting list of requirments to live. As you open the shower curtain in the morning, to await a drizzle of warm water, patience activates at the sudden notice of the shower head deciding by itself to fire cold instead. The car drive, the finding of the keys if not endured through, another skill activates, one that had I been god would not implant on any human being, annoyance. Soon after activating, requires another int

Lucandrake

Lucandrake

 

Journal Chronicles: Part 2

I slept all night, for the first time in 2 weeks, woke up at 4 a.m., I'm ready for the few days of good sleep up ahead of me, the shift of my internal clock clenging to the thought of opposite solar truths takes but a mere glimpse of reality before sucking me back in to its deranged idea of sun equals moon as the other is believed to be rule as well. I am forever sickened by the thought that in order for me to dream at night( for dreaming in the day is a sub-concious activity)my body requires pi

Lucandrake

Lucandrake

 

Journal Chronicles: Part 1

Let's start this year off in a much different form of button maching then ever so-previously. For starters, write, write as much as possible, whenever possible, excel your limits of limitless emotion on paper, and forever carge your brilliant mind inside the collector journals of soon. Scratch deppression, be sad, but to the point of pain. Jump in one dark, and for the week(s) to come you'll spend your effort climbing out. Spell! Corret what others misspell, correct what you missepll, hoever tru

Lucandrake

Lucandrake

 

Journal Chronicles: Intro

So, all through out this fall semister, I've been doing random writings in my journal(s), which I've decided to throw down here to see myself in a different tone. 2 months is a long time, I'm happy it is too, it means time is slowing down again compared to high school, who the hell wants to live life from today to tommorow? This is just the intro, the good crap is in the next entry.

Lucandrake

Lucandrake

 

Is it possible to loose the abilities you were born with?

I've been considering the proposition of talents a lot lately. Trying to figure out if we all are truly born with "talents" the TV tells us we have when we're children. If these abilities are innate or just the hard work of someone who is used to doing hard work. If you attempt to study for the first time in your life, you'll understand at the rate of a tortoise, but if your studying a completely new subject while going through the process for the 100th time, you'll grasp it at a higher rate (gi

Lucandrake

Lucandrake

 

Influence

Thinking about the energetic properties of our creative tools brings me to question the purpose of creating media. Many state it as an expression to self, and that everything stops there. That you are merely stating how you feel with your joy, and wish to let go of everything on your mind. What if it influences the mind in a way that further pauses your ability to move forward? I ask because I'm unable to write anything when a smile is on my face. I'm unable to come up with purpose towards words

Lucandrake

Lucandrake

 

I'm here

I'm here to tell you the story of a boy wonder, who was destroyed by his own goal he had achieved in the future, and was considered the ray of light in the darkened barrel of his tiny family. Upon being born, his family smiled, their first child, brought into this world while his father was going threw the same test the kid is smiling through in the present. The mother, only holding a green card and her ability to love, taught this child her skill. Now children are fusions of both parents, wheth

Lucandrake

Lucandrake

 

I'm bamboozled.

My mind is a con-artist and I am the consumer awaiting it's next product. As pain full as it is to bear the thought of the unknown, I'm starting to smile before reaching walls filled with blind dust, had these walls been in an RPG then they would be the most broken thing in the game for as soon as you encounter them the screen goes black until defeated. That's how the future feels, and in that emotion I wrote down some things I'd like to accomplish before death himself stares at me in the eye, a

Lucandrake

Lucandrake

 

I'm an idiot

How do you survive when every single friend you have, appears to only have one goal in mind, and that's to push walls in every corner conceivable onto you. Imagine being tested day-in, day-out, with a friend that is dating your sister. In his mind he is set for life, living with his mother, and his 23 year old drop out brother, and while he has a job, actually denies hours when they're literally given to him like candy. You want your sister to have someone that is growing every day, not someone

Lucandrake

Lucandrake

 

I watched The Raid tonight

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWlmhMSnVdM   Let me start off by saying that I'm a little bias towards this "type" of film. I feel that films like this one, Scott Pilgrim, 300, and The Warriors; should be classified as "Beat Em Up's". The exposition is kept to a minimum, chatter is straight to the point (or used for a comedic tune to turn down the suspension), and there are boss battles everywhere. So in short, I enjoyed it very much, a long with the cinematography, and its music.   The film's

Lucandrake

Lucandrake

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