It's been over a month since the website went down due to some lame script kiddies. O well, not much happened except the idea of me controlling my emotions :/.
It sounds weird, but I'm depressed as fuck, and I'm not letting it get to me. I can come up with at least 5 different situations in the past month that I just wanted to brake down and cry (my ass off, rivers of tears pouring down my cheeks and disabling human contact for a while), but I never did. It's like all I have to do now is smile and boom, no matter how hard my heart gets, or how hurtful it becomes, I manage to keep the fear at bay. Which is a good thing, I don't want to seem sad or appear useless anymore, hell I have two months of no school but I don't plan on wasting it! I want to learn something before I progress into my learning environment. Also, I'm very much considering walking down a path of a certain impossible career that not many venture into. I have dreams of being a Physician and helping sick dudes out, I'm going to test myself out next semester and see if I can pull off a massive amount of studying without braking down. For now though, I wish to rest, and rebuild myself mentally with my acquired new skill. See if I can do something else (for entertainment, maybe learn how to play the Guitar or complete my vocal training), so that I may further be stress free in the environments I wish to one day throw myself into.
Well, I have much more that I can fill up in this entry, I've stated it before, my writing can become an infinite story written to explore the true emotions of my heart. I only hope that when people read my piles of verbal influence, they feel the same way.