Gryph Posted April 12, 2004 Share Posted April 12, 2004 Here are a few: -----What's the difference between a woman and a volcano?- A volcano doesn't fake eruptions.-----Hear about the woman who was so ugly that when she was born the doctor slapped her mother.-----Did you hear about the girl who had tits on her back?- She was ugly to look at, but a whole lot of fun to dance with. -----Why do women have two sets of lips?- So they can piss and moan at the same time.-----Why's the new contraceptive sponge such a great idea?- Because after sex your wife can get up and wash the dishes.-----A soldier in Vietnam walked into a whorehouse in Saigon, went up to the madam, and asked, "Do Oriental women really have horizontal ones?" "Why?" asked the madam. "Are you a harmonica player?"------ That's enough for now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-VIOLENCE- Posted April 12, 2004 Share Posted April 12, 2004 knock knock? whos there? "nobody's home motha flocka go home" *done better in person* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weirdy Posted April 12, 2004 Share Posted April 12, 2004 ok, there's these mexicans that have jumped the border and are now in the u.s and they're thirsty as hell. They happend to have 50¢ in u.s currency, then they see a coke machine that they've never seen before so they can't read what it says (60¢ a can btw)...so then this guy puts in this 50¢ and presses the regular coke button. Then he's wondering why it won't come out, then he looks at the part of the machine where it says how much more money he needs to put in and it says "dime" and he's thinking it says "dime"(pronounced 'dee-meh' which means "tell me" in spanish)...and he says "aahhh!!!! apenas me dice" (about time it tells me)..then he whispers at the machine..."quiero un a coca"(I want a coke) ach..its better in spanish Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cominus Posted April 12, 2004 Share Posted April 12, 2004 Parental advisory: A man walks on the beach and he finds a magic lamp and proceeds to rub it when a Genie magically appears and says "I will grant you one wish, chose wisely" so the man thinks and then says "ok, tomorow when i walk on the beach i want my wang to drag on the sand" and the genie says "your wish is my command" so the genie makes the mans legs 6 inches long. hahah.. forgot how it really went, here's another one A cowboy gets captured by indians and the chief comes out and says "you have 3 days to live, each day you will be granted one wish, make wish now!" so the cowboy thinks and asks the chief to see his horse, so the cheif allows him to see his horse and the CB whispers into the horses ear and smacks it on the azz and the horse runs off. An hour later the horse comes back with a hot naked blonde on it's back and the CB and the blonde go into the Teepee and shag. The next day the the chief tells the CB to make his next wish s the CB asks to see his horse again and the chief says fine. The CB whispers into the horses ear and smacks it on the azz and the horse runs off. An hour later the horse arrives with a hot Red head on it's back and the CB and the red head go into the Teepee and shag. The thrid day the the Chief says "Last day, you make wish now, then you die" so the cowboys looks around nervouly then he asks the cief if he could see his horse again and the idians are like "what, again?" so the cheif says fine and the CB grinds the horse by his ears and says "POSSIE! GET ME MY POSSIE!" Last one: A man on vacation in ireland walks into a pub(bar) and orders a drink. a few beers later the man decideds to use the urinals. The man proceeds to walk into the restroom and do his business when he notices a leporcond next to him dressed in all green. The man takes a peek at the leporcond next to him's piece and is astonished at the size, and thinks what if he's a leporcond. The man asks "wow, thats a big piece, i wish i had a piece like that, can you give me a piece like that?" and the leporcond says "sure, meet me in the bushes around the back" so the man walks out and goes to the back. The leporcond proceeds to "shag" with and man and bloods splats every where and everything. Minutes later the leporcond finishes and the man is sore and looks into his pants and says hey, "WTF?! It's still the same size, you said you were gonna give me a big piece?" and the leporcond says "yes i did, and thats what i gave you" WHOA! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PLasticSlug Posted April 12, 2004 Share Posted April 12, 2004 PINOCCHIO Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper on his manhood and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened. A couple of weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?" Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weirdy Posted April 12, 2004 Share Posted April 12, 2004 (edited) PINOCCHIO Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper on his manhood and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened. A couple of weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?" Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"ROFLMAO!!!!!! [00:34:31] <Zenedra> snow white sat on pinocchios face n said[00:34:40] <Zenedra> LIE U MOTHER FUKER.. LIE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!llmao Edited April 12, 2004 by Weirdanzeige Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agozer Posted April 12, 2004 Share Posted April 12, 2004 Cubans are mexicans who learned to swim. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weirdy Posted April 12, 2004 Share Posted April 12, 2004 Cubans are mexicans who learned to swim.ROFL!!!!! speaking of which, they have funny accents. I'll take my chance with this mexican joke (that I'm sure Antiwinner won't mind, since I don't) Why do mexicans like low riders?.....cause we can cruise and pick lettuce at the same time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cominus Posted April 12, 2004 Share Posted April 12, 2004 Cubans are mexicans who learned to swim.WFT?! Cubans are black people and some hispanic mixed that have bad accents. Hw dare you compare them to us! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agozer Posted April 12, 2004 Share Posted April 12, 2004 Cubans are mexicans who learned to swim.WFT?! Cubans are black people and some hispanic mixed that have bad accents. Hw dare you compare them to us! I was only joking I did not mean to offend you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wizard Posted April 12, 2004 Share Posted April 12, 2004 This is The Joke thread. Someone should just put a general discalimer here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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