emsley

penis twitch.

Ah fuck dudes I just woke up - i just done a gig - my and my buddy went back to this guys house we know. Bunch of guys there, but this place we went back to is where we go quite a lot - these guys were high as fuck coke or Phet... whatever they take, anyway for NO REASON These guys start playing up with me not my freind who is 6ft just me. Anyways I try to tell pete im going becasue these guys are getting really aggressive, but he is "happy" not a wanker or whatever - and i had my fucking guitar with me from the gig, so I set off. Some whore tried starting a fire winding the guys up horribile bitch is there any need for violence? I dont think there is. Anyway some PRICK thought he was hard as nails - at that moment in time i knew i was fucked so i tried to leave, pete was blissfuly unaware of the smackdown that was approaching. So i leave I tell pete we are going - but he wont budge he was happy. (pissed did not know) Im outside waiting for my freind to come out - when a bald headed skin headed cunt jumps over the back fence to "sort me out" he comes at me like im some soggy waffle - but guess what? SUPPRISE MOTHERFUCKER!!! I nutted him in the face grabbed him by the throat nutted him again and slammed one home for teh win!!!!! I remember his face it looked like this "Oh noes i was hard but realise now that the guy im picking on actually knows how to fight!! im such a pussys right now!" Thats right guys I fought the good fight last night - anyway im walking off after kicking this guys ass (i could of beat him down but know when to stop) when he STILL mouths at me (i think proof he was on drugs) so i got round the corner after picking my guitar up and legged it, i tried to tell my mate but he was too pissed so i ran to my mothers house (lol) im there running through the street with a guitar at 1 in the morning like bolt!! I get to my mothers and knock her out of bed - ring pete - the smelly bastards picked on him one of them nutted him BUT LIKE ALL PUSSYS there was THREE on one - so pete ended up legging it too. Im going back for more - when there drugs ware off ill be there, what if i pussied out they would of kicked the LIVING shit out of me! Im not having it someone needs to stomp them down, and im gonna find those fuckers and teach them a lesson. Dont bully decent people becasue you are an insecure asshole! Im not having it guys. Id do the same for you!!!!!!!! We will find them becasue they thought we were just some guys showing up! little do they know... i hope they wake up this morning and go "Oh no! im not high anymore! somebody help me before i wet me kegs!" God bless guys and PLEASE STICK TOGETHER and learn to be violent!! be the good guy who can turn bad - i dont wanna see any posts on this forum about how a bunch of guys kicked my ass. EVER. Stay safe, use your head, and fight the good fight. Love and respect, Emsley.

Soz dudes thats what I saw with this thread (yes im boozed!)

Im serious. Learn to deal death in one punch. Dont let them get you when they are coming. Edited!

It went well guys - but me and my buddy went back to a party. It turned violent I did not do anything! I headbutted this guy who came screaming at me! My friend was still in the house then some asshole came round the front - thats the guy I made mince meat off. I sware we did not do anything other than turn up then some silly whore started flapping her arms. I swear to you guys - the guys who were there just got there "bug" on. I bashed the dude who came at me (romper stomper silly arse with shaved head thinking he was uber) i slapped him in the nose with a headbutt upped his chin and rammed a nose butt home for the win - these guys wanted more. Please guys learn how to kick a lot of ass. Evil really is just around the corner.

I'll be playing guitar and singing and if things go well I will be earning money on a weekend sometime soon. I have a feeling tonight will be harsh - A lot of my freinds are coming in to see me I dont actually feel nervous at the moment. Ill be playing some cash - Donovan - Bobby D and hopefully a buddy holly song and ill finish on "dammit" acoustic version. The only trouble is I dont have any boom stands for the mikes which could prove difficult i have the mic's but nothing else and my guitar does not have an inbuilt mic piece of junk... Also becasue I have no songs committed to memory I will be reading from sheet I dont actually know that many songs off by heart if Im honest but doing this may motivate me further in the future to get better. It should be a laugh and I will do my best to be infectious! Who knows I might make something out of it and end up touring a little here and there - my dream of a cash tribute band could be come real in the not too distant future. God bless all. Emsley.

I have to be honest and say although if something is interesting there are not many good sites on the net anymore. I normally go for wiki and do it that way such as these: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chernobyl_disaster http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockholm_syndrome i had a theory for a long time (yes I do come up with my own stuff) that women who are kidnapped are prone to been prone to submission - Imagine when I read this: The syndrome has also been explained in evolutionary terms. Historically raptio (e.g., Rape of the Sabine women) and bride kidnapping have been (and still are in some places) very common practices. Women who were kidnapped and consistently fought back were likely to be killed or imprisoned and thus not have children. But women who bonded with and submitted to their captors were more likely to have children and their children were more likely to receive the genes that made their mothers more passive and bonding towards their captors. And over several generations, this made the population of humans more genetically prone to submission and bonding when kidnapped. In many cases, capture may also involve the killing (or threat of killing) of the captive's relatives, thereby isolating the captive. The captive is subjected to isolation and so sees even a small act, such as providing amenities, as a great favour. Such captives may side with their captors while believing their captors have conferred on them great importance and love. Furthermore, captives who perceive themselves as the only members of their group not to have been killed may believe that they have been shown a special interest. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hitler Then it can spiral to all kinds of interesting shit.

I pass out after 20 minutes after I have a sleeping pill and I wake up with a tinny taste in my mouth. (hur hur) I have always had shitty sleep patterns.

Precise! i nearly got with a girl that looked like that - but she was a fucking loonatic - who the hell flirts then gets their father to attempt to beat me up? What a trouble causing bitch she was. He was at my door wanting a fight, Man Im not hard or anything but i wold of mopped the floor with him i told him to fuck off and shut the door.

Batman Arkham Asylum – PC – The first time this game caught my eye was some place on gamespot looking back I did not even click it up or give it much thought to be honest it probably went down in my brain as “lol a batman game, gay!” I don’t think there has every really been what you would call a killer super hero game in all the time I have been into video games – Until now. Game premise: You’re Batdude – that’s right you have the belt, the batarangs, the cape, and the kick ass moves, but I could not find the “shark repellent” any place I looked. By now I’m pretty sure you know the storey to the game – Bats captures joker – Bats takes Joker to the Arkham Asylum in other words Gotham city’s Looney bin for the criminally insane, which just happens to house nearly all the douche bags batman has beat up over the years – cue the jokers surprise, he brakes free and locks down the asylum and you are the guest of honour! Put on your cape – dim the lights – and get ready for an immersive gaming experience – right from the word go you know this is going to be something different. I love creative games – and this sucker is packed to the rafters with the stuff! It integrates a LOT of characters into teh game seamlessly , namely from the DC-batman comic universe How naive did I feel to know that I have missed out on such a lush fully created world? Well not anymore! You may remember in one of the major films roles a character called the riddler played by Jim carrey? No well fuck you. Anyway the riddler has been up to his old tricks again and scattered around the Arkhum asylum are riddles these can be broken down thusly: Basic riddler trophies: These are scattered throughout the environment in air vents – hidden behind destructive walls,( You use detective mode I’ll get on to this a bit later) and say maybe like Metroid you need some equipment to reach one of the trophies – but you will have to wait until you get the gear to be able to reach it. Riddles: You walk in a room and a riddle will spring up at the top of the screen such as “Sometimes I go poopy! What am I?” This will require you to find a unique item in this made up instance I will use detective mode to scan a toilet and the riddle in that room will be solved. This is a lot of fun – the objects are always a nice little Easter eggs that can be found with enough will power - all in all this adds to the games charm and it’s a lot of fun finding them – its nice to see such effort put into a game. Aligning a question mark: While in detective mode you will sometimes see the curly bit of a question mark without the dot underneath it, it is then up to you to get a better vantage point then align the curl and the dot up so you can scan it and complete the riddle. Shitty Arkham asylum history slabs: It’s a spider on a bit of concrete, after scanning a voice (which always starts of like he’s got chronic asthma or something) tells you the history of the Asylum and why it was built. This is good stuff if you’re really into the batman universe. Other: You find patient interview tapes scattered around – they are interesting to listen to - and give you a deeper insight to the characters and to why they are like they are. Great stuff. The riddlers stuff basically boils down to a lot of fun, making the game environment completely immersive, if you knew nothing about batman and its world after playing this game you will, the riddler taunts you for solving “easy” riddles and when you complete a tough one he gets pissed off, a nice little touch to really get you “solving.” Combat: This is really done well you really feel like one mean bastard when fighting enemies in the game – you can have anything between one to 15 guys trying to kick the crap out of you in one room, no problem for the batman – before the enemies is about to crack you with a pipe he just ripped off the wall (they pick shit up and rag stuff of walls to smack you up side of the head) you get a blue light above the guys head – this is your cue the press right click and “counter” the attack – ninja batman blocks – rips the pipe from his hand and slams him in to the ground – then he just switches to another enemie and kicks the shit out of him too. This is all done with a few mouse clicks – sure there are other moves like take downs ( they end up on the floor and you smash their skull into the floor or just ground and pound them) it’s very satisfying to fight a room full of assholes and totally pawn them up. It’s cinematic and fun, I’m halfway through the game but still catch myself shouting “BOOM MOTHERFUCKER!” On a finishing move. Stealth: Why run in fists flying a batarangs swooping guys in the nuts? In some cases the bad dudes have machine guns, rifles, sniper rifles etc – and batman does not like bullets – he is kinda bullet proof but like me and you getting pummelled with a full clip from an AK47 can really put a crimp on your day – so this is where you become ninja batman. In detective mode you can see enemies through walls – which ones have guns and which ones don’t – You can swoop out of a dark corner of a room and ram your boot in to their head – you can hang from gargoyles and swoop down and tie an enemy up and hang him buy his feet (this will get all the other guys attention so be sure to swoop off to another spot) wherever your stealthing , or just brawling – combat is brilliantly done, it’s a lot of fun, and you do feel good when you clear a room full of guys with machine guns and not get spotted once. As the game progresses it naturally becomes more difficult – rooms become tighter – and brawling becomes more intense with guys upgrading with knifes and stun rods... It has an excellent learning curve. Boss fights: I won’t give anything away – but will say it feels old school when you do fight a boss. I’m only 60% complete and can only remember a handful of fights with boss characters. I have read that you can miss fights with bosses and they can feel like missed opportunities – not too sure haven’t really had many “big” fights yet. Although the ones I have been involved in do appear inventive and would expect the same from later bosses. Getting around the game world: As easy as cherry pie – grapple hooks – ripping of ventilation covers, navigating a tricky section – just good all round solid stuff. Ok I’m going to rap this up now, Batman Arkham asylum is a fantastic game – it keeps surprising you every step of the way – all I have wrote above is just scratching the surface of the game – there is enough here for the hardcore and new comer a like – buy and play this game like your life depends on it – its lovingly crafted and JAM packed with ideas – I could describe how great this game is for at least another hour but won’t. If you don’t get this game I think you are gay. Emsley.

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^Yum. The bare second strike of exposure. I too would que in the win line!

My name is aseem I do not like you!!! Dude: Well beat me with a cacti! Ok!!!

"Trying"

his handle bars are perfect.

Mega LOL's dudes. Im still on 56k you bastertz!!!

Drink beer - moderate - inbetween exercise.

I got that dude but I'm saving it for when I'm zombie pumped! I got the DVD rip with good subtitles. Norway is it's birth place.

I've been downloading like crazy since i got a hold of my olds mans fat pipe (lol) I rinsed of 40gig in 4 days. Knowing with Nick Cage - Great movie - shit your self end of the world stuff with a great "E-E" twist. Valkarie with tom cruise - Great movie - shows that not all germans wanted the war. My name is bruce - Brucee campbell - nuff said. District 9 - Great movie funny - that little alien dude is so cute - near the end the main charecter just lays out an alien with a plank of wood or something. Wolverine - I dont normaly use trendy words but it was pretty sick. Good movie. Death proof - Quinten tarentino - he can suck my balls for the rest of his life for this pile of shit - never put me through one hours worth of women in conversation. Ever. Drag me to hell - Sam Raimi + evil dead humour + SCAREY! = Win!!!! The haunting in conneticut - So - so. You can see it coming a mile off. Bruno - same dude behind borat - Ok for a light hearted movie but anything else would not bother - seemed to take boarts storey line and wash and repeat it again. "Fuck off" is the highlite by a world renowned actor. Colverfield - Win!!! Crank one and two - Win!!!! (Wheres my strawberry tart!!!) GRAN TORINO = EPIC WIN!!!! (Like the best movie I have seen in 5 years Im not kidding you)

I've ben begging for a chin starp for years now I'm 28 and I just cant connect that little bit between my chin stubble and the ever so near sideburns. Every bloke on my dads side and mothers side were all blessed with chizzled stubble - not me. I keep yelling at my mother for smoking during her pregnancy with me.

You tart!

25 Dont worry you will save the world

Get some sleep patrol. My tip to my self if anmything goes wrong: (sleep)

^ Congrats.