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This is unbelievable

Devia Eleven

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Within the last four years of my life, I have grown into a tall, African American male, who hates the world, and despises reality. Everyday since the first day of High School, I have been met, with constant opposition, and hate. Most people prefer to dislike an African American male, who should be playing Basketball everyday, who should be listening to horrible Rap music, and who should be doing and selling drugs. I don't understand, how amongst everyone else except me, I am stranded in some other world. A high percentage of humans who I have to be around everyday, in my Air Force career, and even in a High School hierarchy, are astoundingly immature, closed minded, pieces of shit covered trash, who persist on insulting me for no apparent reason whatsoever.


I'm not good enough for this generic stereotypical society, my views and interests are viewed in disdain. There's no problem with a person hating me, the main problem is that people hate for no reason. How could one evaluate me based off of underdeveloped assumptions? This is sublime, it's fantastically unbelievable.


I have been verbally bullied, everyday of my life since I was thirteen years old, a nineteen year old, anti-social, misanthropic, inexperienced, African American, video game enthusiast man, who has encountered, countless, among countless, accounts of verbal hate. Northern America refuses to accept ones who are unique, and the word unique is replaced with weird, and the word weird is placed with, "you do not fit", therefore we will continue to disembowel you verbally until you kill yourself. I've read articles, I've researched websites, I've written expansive excerpts, I've talked to people, I've asked my parents, and apparently, the only method to avoid insults one hundred percent is to not talk.


Has anyone encountered such a formality of humans? These Northern American needle nosed hypocrites, have stopped at nothing, at no limit, no boundary, to continuously, call me names, attempt to extrapolate my entire life as, (all he does is play Video Games, in his room), to throw unwarranted racial slurs. I have been insulted because I use words like "cantankerous" in an actual cohesive sentence. No profanity, no word, no action can really express my hatred and intolerance towards people who view themselves as being perfect, and view myself as a misguided, babied, naive virgin who shouldn't have been introduced to what everyone prematurely calls, "life".

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You are YOU bro - you are not a "group" you are not a stereotype you are you.

Intelligence among the "lesser gifted" is always veered on - I know this because I too like you live in a place where been the norm is what's right and anything that shows difference like "I read a book" or "I am learning French" or "I like going jogging."


Keep your self tight inside - it can feel like the hole world is shooting needles at you constantly.

I suggest reading a little david deangelo on "inner game" no this has nothing to do with women but it has everything to do with you.


Hit me up your email if you want some great interesting books mailed to you.

You don't have to be liked by everyone.

And maybe just maybe you are finding out about your self and learning who you do not want in your reality.


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Why did I think you were Chinese? Anyway, people are bastards. Video game playing black man in the air force? Yeah there isn't a checkbox for that one on the form of acceptability.


I'm reminded of my first year in primary school. I live in a small coastal town in England, mostly populated by retired elderly people, and looking on it as nothing but a statistic, there aren't many non white people around. Back in my second year of primary school, I encountered for the first time, a coloured person. His name's Imran, he and his family moved from Pakistan, and he and his brother and sister joined our school. Imran was the same age as me so he ended up in my class.


Now at the time, I'd never heard the work packy, or any other racial slur, but the other kids in my class came out with it straight away. I thought they were saying it coz he came from Pakistan, but I learnt it's just a general slur for anyone with his kind of colouring. As it happens, at the time, I didn't like Imran very much. Not because of his colour, or even the peer pressure from my classmates who had obviously picked up a racial hatred from their parents early. I didn't like him much coz he wasn't very likable. He wasn't friendly, and had a bad attitude. And with the hindsight of growing up, of course he did. Five seconds into joining a class and he's being called packy, right in front of the teacher, who doesn't seem to care that much.


Fast forward fifteen years, and I'm on train, on my way to university, and who comes on board? Imran, on his way to the same university. We sit together, and talk, and we do so fairly often, for the next three years. Every time we got the same train, we'd sit together. We end up graduating together, and I still see him whenever I go into the shop that he works part time in.


Imran is now a friend of mine. So what changed? Tolerance of society in my area perhaps? I never heard anyone call him a packy again. Nor did anyone bully the Turkish or Bulgarian guys in my secondary school. The university I went to was only a few miles away from my hometown, and it was full of all ethnicities. There were probably more black and Asian people there than white people. I never once heard of any racial attack, apart from oddly enough, against a white American girl.


So, is there no longer racism in my area? No. It’s still there; it’s just that people are more afraid to express it due to the consequences. Call a guy a packy fifteen years ago in primary school, no one cares. Call a guy a packy today at university, kiss your degree goodbye. I’ll say the word tolerance again. Overall in the UK there’s now little stigma attatched to being gay. We have many gay celebrities that are loved. People still get attacked and killed every so often for being gay though. The people that hate gays are still there, it’s just that most of them keep quiet about it. Same for the people that hate blacks, Asians, etc.


So, where’s the silver lining? Well, Imran has a business degree now, and I’m confident that he’ll end up in a very high paid job somewhere. So he wins. Succeed in what you want to do, and everyone who hates you can fuck off.

Edited by The-Ice-Man
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and everyone who hates you can fuck off.


Amen - its not up to you to change its up to them - everyone has flaws.


I had an friend from Iran FUNNIEST GUY we used to get on - but every place i went with him my white friends "didn't like him" I wasn't brought up in the era off been a racist - in fact racism found me as I got older, Packys would NOT be welcome in the area I live right now nothing i can do about it but i would never stand by and watch someone get attacked or intimidated because of their colour id have to kick some ass. Hate that shit.



two years ago I got on the bus to town you wouldnt see anyone but white folk - Now I get on the same bus to town there could be any guy/woman from any country getting on the bus once i was the only white guy on the bus and i was a bit like "wtf?" you DO feel out of place.


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I remember the first time I met racism. I was walking to elementary school (private). Would've been no more than 8 or 9 yrs old, and while waiting at the stop light to cross the street, these two black girls who were older than me that attended the public school across the street just randomly called me a chink or some such reference. I hadn't said a word.


But I don't hate anybody. I'll be the first person to commend you for not being stereotypical.


Where do you live? I wonder if its where you live that has anything to do with it, but I recognize the confounded reality that people seem to enjoy an inherent maliciousness towards other people for no reason other than getting a kick out of it. Perhaps thats why i'm a quiet person, I don't like interacting with strangers for no reason because I am weary of the belligerence that I might bear witness.


This is why friends are so important dude, and to a lesser albeit different extent, family. I have had the privilege of knowing my best friend since Kindergarten to this day and another since 5th grade. Do you have any real friends Devia?

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Take it from a slightly older head here guys (hopefully some of the older members will back me up here)

Do not over analyse stuff!

A young mind is a field of land-mines -


A beautiful mind - he says "eager young minds!"


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No profanity, no word, no action can really express my hatred and intolerance towards people who view themselves as being perfect, and view myself as a misguided, babied, naive virgin who shouldn't have been introduced to what everyone prematurely calls, "life".

Amen, bro.


Although it still needs to be said that being over analytical of certain things (like say, yourself, the people around you, and life in general) leads to nothing good, because most of the time all you find is shit and more shit.




I had to look up cantankerous in a dictionary. Touché, you sneaky American linguist you.

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It's a bit hard for me to comment, as I have not experienced or seen this sort of thing. This is because African Americans are rare in this country.


When I was in school, it was a time of immigration of various Europeans: Greek and Italian mostly. They were called wogs. But, they thought and acted the same as us, and soon everyone accepted them. Later we started getting Lebanese, they were generally not interested in assimilating, I only later learned it was to do with their upbringing and their foul religion.


All I've seen of African Americans is what I've seen on TV. It's obviously not a very good education, but it's all we have. So, the stereotype is: Listens to dreadful Rap music; mostly unemployed; hangs around in gangs; plays basketball; tall, strong and muscular; and occasionally gets a job such as Policeman or a Marine.


Now to your specific situation. Is it unusual for a black guy to like videogames? I would have thought anyone would play them. You didn't say what you do in the Air Force (you might not want to - that's ok), you might be a computer analyst, or you might drive a forklift in the warehouse. Is it unusual for a black guy to work at the Air Force?


For me, the type of behaviour you describe of your fellow citizens is abhorent. I'd rather find out what is in your mind before deciding. If I didn't like what I found, I still wouldn't abuse you, I would just ignore you. But, from what I see, you are a sensible, bright person who is embittered from years of insults. All I can suggest fwiw, is to ignore the detractors, do the best job you can, and get on with your life. Do not think of death.

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When I was 12 and under, I lived in areas that were predominantly black in Toronto, and I can tell you...it goes both ways buddy. It's not racism, it's just plain stupidity and lack of intelligence.


I took on an "If you don't like me, kiss my fucking ass!" attitude, and I still have that attitude. The best way to go about life, is to BE better than those other dumbasses, and then rub it in their faces years later.


Get yourself on the "Fuck you if you don't like me!" bandwagon, you'll like it.

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