emsley Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 I skate or did, had ollies, kickflips, heelflips, varial flip, pop shv it, all under my belt. Smashed me face into the floor, rammed my head of a metalbar, smashed both my shins in to a grin bar, then fractured my foot and had a pot on for six weeks. Im not made of rubber no more, still get the itch to skate though...
Krosigrim Posted May 23, 2009 Author Posted May 23, 2009 I can't sleep.I see that! I refuse, Im trying to reset my clock. Soooo what are you up to, other than the obvious?
Krosigrim Posted May 23, 2009 Author Posted May 23, 2009 I skate or did, had ollies, kickflips, heelflips, varial flip, pop shv it, all under my belt. Smashed me face into the floor, rammed my head of a metalbar, smashed both my shins in to a grin bar, then fractured my foot and had a pot on for six weeks. Im not made of rubber no more, still get the itch to skate though...made of rubber no more? How old are you m8? heheh brit l33t, sillyness.
emsley Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 Pron...Better get the morning one out of the way Yeeaahhhhh!
Krosigrim Posted May 23, 2009 Author Posted May 23, 2009 28 and still sucking at life !!!!! hahahaHmm Im in the same boat, but things are changing for me. Im forging a new path... but it took someone very special to me for that to happen.
Krosigrim Posted May 23, 2009 Author Posted May 23, 2009 Hmmm the light version... how do I do this... I have had no motivation... at all. I lost all will to live. I merely existed, rather than lived. I just didnt feel like doing what was necessary. Id rather have just sat on my ass and work at a crap job that was easy, than going to bed on time and working at finding a new job. I have made a series... no an avalanch of mistakes and just didnt care to do what was needed. I was lonly. Alone and just didnt care enough anymore. My turning point was 2 weeks ago or so. My long lost sister found me. Long story too. Anyway, she, through her kindness, sweetness, basically our deep connection that I long forgot about has renued me. I have returned with a vengance. I am now who I was suposed to be. For it was like I had to try to be myself. I feel unlocked, unsealed, renwed. I now have the desire to do what needs to be done. Work wherever I have to to get that money rolling in. Go to bed early if I have to. Start drawing again, get in shape, look toward a career... I have been in positions where I start to do what is right, then I drop the ball. This time is different. I want to do what is right... and I want to make her happy too, by being happy myslef. By not being a blemish on the world. Not that she sees that... but you get my meaning. Most people will never get this opportunity, or be in a position of absolute love that I am in. So therefore, I feel like I cheated life, or that I have an unfair advantage. What it will take for ANYONE to suceed, is desire. I have found it. And now the world will change before me. No longer am I Khodumadurno. A being that devours everything in its path, including the path itself. I am transending paths alltogether. The path doesnt really exist... except behind me. It's gonna be an amazing ride. Brother, I hope you find your motivation.
emsley Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 With out love I am half human, with out love Im all machine - Johnny cash. This is my exact problem, two years ago I had the girl I loved more than anything, she was my desire, my burn, my heart, my will, my reason.And it went wrong. Since all that happened to me i have been emptie, alone, and most importantly of all un-loved. I want to love her as much as she loves me andwithout im half emptie. The fuel is not there anymore.
emsley Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 hahahaha its true! what do you want me to say, I know whats wrong with me. hahaha
Krosigrim Posted May 23, 2009 Author Posted May 23, 2009 ROFL @ Inky No but really. I was there. The thing is, you gotta do things for you, not someone else. How can you support someone emotionally, when you can support yourself. Family is different. And Im sure there are plenty of relationships that are different too. But significant others can fail you, and you can fail them. Blood is blood, so it's different. I was burned pretty damn bad man. I wasn't the best BF... but EM really flocked up. Destroyed my ass man. I went to hell... which actually wasnt far off. Got some help, crap happened and had to move. That crap fell through, and here I am again on the verge of distruction. Had help along the way, but I just couldn't get it together. I have no answers for you, only questions. You gotta find the answers yourself. Do you want to do better? Do you want to feel good about yourself? Do you want to eat steak at least twice a week??? If so... what the hell, ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT? That simple. Me? Im skipping town. Breaking the oroborous.. oborobus? Id google it but F' it. Im done with the endless loop of BS. Im breaking the chain. But im a lucky one. Thats why I feel kinda bad... for others that is...
Sybarite Paladin AxL Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 I'm in the exact same spot as Will here, only I'm still existing parasitically on my parents' wallet, so it's good. I still have no plans or motivation, I'd rather play/drink/smoke all day. If one day I disappear from this forum completely, you'd have a story to tell. "I once met an awesome, handsome, exemplar of a dude from Romania. He's a hobo now tho." And it's spelled "ouroboros"
Inky Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 aren't ouroboros the people create racial genocide on in RE5?!?
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