Most of my away messages are personalized towards whoever I want to make fun of or piss off. But I have a few standards that I just leave on even though I'm not doing the activity that I say I'm doing. Here are the ones that I have saved: "30ish, academic, wishes to meet woman who's interested in Mozart, James Joyce, and sodomy." - Woody Allen in Annie Hall "I am not really away. But I am not here." - I think most of you have seen this one too much, I might retire it. "Suddenly, there was a terrible roar all around us, and the sky was full with what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, and a voice was screaming: Holy Jesus. What are these goddamn animals?" - From Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas "I don't like your jerk-off name, I don't like your jerk-off face, I don't like your jerk-off behavior and I don't like you...jerk-off." - It's from The Big Lebowski "Listen you flockers, you screw heads, here is a man who would not take it anymore. A man who stood up against the scum, the cunts, the dogs, the filth, the crap, here is someone who stood up." - Travis Bickle (played by Robert de Niro) in Taxi Driver "VGA Box with S-Video = Ownage" - For when I am playing Dreamcast