NeuronMaster Posted October 23, 2004 Share Posted October 23, 2004 It's all about what you're doing and where. This is kinda long. The Act of InsertionIf the man is ready (same vice-versa) 1/4 calories If the woman is not (same vice-versa) 274 calories Satisfying Partner (organ size) Most experts agree that size means nothing. Shape is what counts, and the man with a shaped organ can write his own ticket. In those rare instances where a man has a genuinely small member, he may have to compensate by working slightly harder, but this is good for weight loss. A man with a really large organ, while he might not have to work as hard once inside, may exhaust himself just trying to convince his partner to let him put it inside. Normal size 22 calories Oversize 15 calories Tremendous 8 calories Teensy-weensy 163 calories Positions Man on top, woman on bottom (facing each other) 20 calories Woman on top, man on bottom(Many women find that in addition to its inherent sexual possibilities, this position affords a better view of the clock.) 25 calories From the rear (Mysterious variation) 40 1/2 calories Standing: Both partners of equal height 18 calories Standing: Woman 1 foot taller than a man 90 calories While in traction(very useful during ski season) 124 calories Locations On a bar stool 20 calories Rear of a Honda Civic 38 calories In a phone booth, standing 14 calories In a phone booth, lying down 274 calories On an airliner, aisle seat 24 calories On an airliner, middle seat 42 calories On an airliner, window seat 30 calories On an airliner, in the lavatory 100 calories Possible Side Effects of IntercourseBouncing 7 calories Sliding around 9 calories Serious Skidding 12 calories Full cartwheel 20 calories Whiplash 27 calories Knee burn 6 calories Chafed elbows 5 calories Chafed nose 11 calories Sex Related Noises Short gasps (per gasp) 3 calories Wheezing 5 calories Squeals 4 calories Ecstatic moaning 11 calories Low growling 8 calories Squishing 10 calories Shouting 16 calories Screaming 18 calories Urgent begging 22 calories Any short speech giving partner directions("Please don't stop," "Faster," "Just a little more" are common examples.) 25 calories Approaching OrgasmLetting go 5.5 calories Controlling yourself 79 calories Digging nails into your partner's back 11 calories Trembling 15 calories Shaking 20 calories Shuddering 25 calories Trying to keep eyes open 33 calories Orgasm Real 27 calories Faked 160 calories Orgasmic Intensity ScaleExpression didn't change 1/2 calorie Face turned purple 15 calories Orchestra swelled 6 calories Magical explosions 10 calories Blazing Sheets 25 calories Earth moved 30 calories Vesuvius erupted 47 calories You began moaning in Latin 60 calories Pulling OutAfter orgasm 1/4 calorie A few moments before orgasm 500 calories Read the rest here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gryph Posted October 23, 2004 Share Posted October 23, 2004 Hahaha! I have been beat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OverlordMondo Posted October 24, 2004 Author Share Posted October 24, 2004 Point goes to Neuron Master for the most in-depth explanation on sex aerobics ever! Next, I must have...the "Lord of the Dance". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agozer Posted October 24, 2004 Share Posted October 24, 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gryph Posted October 24, 2004 Share Posted October 24, 2004 Goddamit, I can't outgay that picture. But I must put up a fight: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agozer Posted October 24, 2004 Share Posted October 24, 2004 Hahah, finally I might have beat Mr. G... If not, then we're up-to-par at least. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuronMaster Posted October 24, 2004 Share Posted October 24, 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OverlordMondo Posted October 24, 2004 Author Share Posted October 24, 2004 Agozer gets the point on this one. It was a tough choice though... Oi, next one. First one to get me the names, and pictures, of the four Horsemen of the Apocalypse gets 3 points. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gryph Posted October 24, 2004 Share Posted October 24, 2004 Death, War, Famine, and Pestilence Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OverlordMondo Posted October 25, 2004 Author Share Posted October 25, 2004 The Klaw is just sweeping the competition! Klaw gets 3 points from this one. Only.5 more for the win. Next, and possibly last, challenge. Find my pants! I swear I was wearing them when I left my house last night... I'll start a new contest after someone reaches 10. Once we've got four winners I'll hold some kind of tournament. If anyone's interested of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
random guy Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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