Should I go to this party thing?

[emsley]

Well my three months of not drinking beer is nearly up and im not inclined to go back to drinking full time if and when i do have a drink again twice a week tops, just the thought of going through summer without enjoying a beer is quite depressing.

 

So my friend is having a 30th birthday bash my old friends girl to be exact and a lot of hotties are going trouble is my crazy ex is going you may remember I posted about her and how it took a year for her to leave me alone and the past few months have really settled down no more bullshit etc, but im thinking if i go again this chick will go psycho on my ass again im not normally fussed what a chick thinks but like i said this one is borderline nuts with me, there is a chance of confrontation with an idiot who sneaked into her after i dumped her but i really Dont care who she is seeing or what she is doing.

 

I have some ok friends going to this party, i guess the question is would you let your crazy ex stop you going to enjoy a good night out with good company?

[Lucandrake]

No, there should be no need to.

 

Just go have fun, if she tries anything stupid put your foot down.

[Krosigrim]

Go, but remember to behave. Strike that... behave. Dont try just do. Dont drink too much, know your limit... as in dont get shit faced, get to a decent buzz and maintain it, not surpass.

 

Then do what I would, have fun and if drama happens, brush it off your shoulder like whatever. Focus on cool people, not any assholes.

[veristic]

Not to be a troll but would it be too much to ask to use commas? lol

[emsley]

Maybe tomorrow grammar nazi!

[Hawq]

just ignore her if she tries to start anything, freaky coinkidink I share a similar dilemma though about a school reunion in my case, though details differ as I barely remember most of the people involved, get along pretty well online with 1 thats going (if only she were still single & lowered her standards ), ok(ish) with another, neutral with most & one fu**ed me over badly last year so if I go along I'll be using my advice of ignore her I think (while drinking to overcome social problems of course

[solidius23]

ems u deserve this night out. dont let some crazy ex ruin it for you. just take will's advice and it should all work out.

[Krosigrim]

Yea just remember to ignore, dont be an ass. Being an ass will make it seem like you are using brain power on her. Straight ignoring if something stupid happens... is perfection. You are there for you, and your friend(s) not for her sake.

[emsley]

Cheers guys, the party is at the end of next month, some of you guys must surely know how these women can get it does not help that she is off her tits on drugs half the time too, very unpredictable.

She creeps me out to be honest.

 

My anxiety has been playing up recently the doctor said its Deppresion from coming off the beer, this has been a hard two months for me for sure. I just want to make sure that im not wasting my time in drinking for the hell of it now.

[Inky]

if she tries anything stupid put your foot down.

yeah, right down her throat!

 

nah. it'll be fine.

[Krosigrim]

Well drugs are hard to kick. If I understand even a fraction about your individual situation... perhaps drinking isnt the best idea. Look... how about this. If you do drink, make sure this isnt the start of benging again. ont drink for at least 2 weeks after... and dont drink a ton 'cause its gonna be awhile till you drink again. Just sayin'

[emsley]

Yeah that's the problem at the moment , ive been advised by ex drinkers who had really bad problems with beer to give it nine months.

The docs said I only had a moderate problem and wasn't an alcoholic but they said it wasn't far off.

Jesus most of the people i know drink more than I did.

[Krosigrim]

Here is the thing. You have a condition. Something along the lines of a chemical imbalance. You mentioned depression.

 

When you drink or smoke or whatever, you give your brain something it likes and well... it really really likes it. It becomes hardwired for it. Perhaps you noticed how bad it got after a few days of not drinking at first. If this IS so, I am proud of you! I know how hard it is to stop something you like.

 

For me it was the herb. I was sooo wired for it... here, let me give you an example. You know how when you wake up and your groggy? (to those who dont wake up in a snap) If I were to smoke, the sleepy fog would lift instantly. Id not be sleepy and Id be great. I remember once I had to take a few tokes from a bowl before my first day at this job that had me going in early.

 

And when I eventually quit, I was hard up. It felt like I needed to do something! I increased my cig smoking 4 fold. I still smoke like a civ and its due to the feeling that I want to fill a need. A need to consume. If I dont get a smoke I feel ansy, restless. I have a very addictive personality. I am addicted to games and well... doing whatever else pleases me, eating, smoking, sex whatever.

 

As for me drinking does little for me. I usually feel bad after a few drinks. When I do get my buzz of drink, It usually dies down fast... something about alcohol. I just stop getting drunk and start getting shitty. Pressure points start to ache like youd never believe. Perhaps it genetic pre-disposition... my dads an Alcoholic. And my disposition isnt mimicry, as my mom left his ass before I was 2, and I really dont know him at all. No, I think its something genetic/ chemical based. I just dont enjoy alcohol much at all.

 

Point is, Its easy to do what is pleasing. And for me its an endless cycle. Stopping something like that is ridiculously hard. Its better not to play with temptation as I smoked a few times since I quit and I did NOT want to stop. I wanted to buy more more more. Problem is Im lazy and all I wanted to do is smoke up and play games all waking hours of the day. Yes it's fun but Im 31 now. When would it stop. It'd be sad if I was a 70 year old pot head that still played games high as fuck.

 

So... just think hard about what it is you want and stick to what is realistic. Everything you do is done in steps. The path of pleasure is quick, but the path back out is long and tedious. I bet you'd love to go out for a drink. Your a brit, of course you would. heh. But there is too much of a good thing, really.

 

Oh sidenote. I knew a guy named Byron. He began drinking and smoking early on but eventually got to pills and shit. On his girls Bday, we were all at Kobe and having a good time. He got "down" and waited in the car because he was ready to go. Everyone else was still talking and visiting in the restaurant. I went out for a smoke and he told me to go back in and try to get her to come out so they can go home. When we did eventually come out he was gone... they lived together and he was her ride. She had to get dropped off by her mom and he wasnt there either, Nowhere to be found. Turns out he was scoring some pills or whatever. He was a straight up addict. On top of all that, we spoke often and he told me he has chemical imbalances now and mental conditions from all the pills he has taken. He never had such problems before he was a pill head. The constant "poisoning" fucked his head all up. Same can be said for anything that has an effect. Weed, alcohol whatever. Just some work faster than others. I remember you mentioning something earlier in this thread about weed but remember, the same applies to alcohol too.

 

And as always, I am not trying to tell you what to do or judge or even trying to be an know it all... Im just putting in my thoughts and thats all. Im just making sure you know where I'm coming from.

 

:Done ranting:

[emsley]

Someone understands.

Ive been bad on weed as well when i was younger i defently did some long term damage for sure there.

Weed brought in my first panic attacks and now for whatever reason I cant go near the stuff my body and mind just reject it flat out.

(although i really do miss the days when you could get some really nice soap and it chilled you out instead of all this hardcore bush stuff there is now)

 

I was the same with weed I would have a blast of a pipe to wake me up and level me out.

 

I had depression for about 8 years a lot of people still see it as "something you can snap out of" bull poop!!!

Its nearly been two months for my meds and they are working but im pretty sure i need my dose upping, its shit waiting for them getting in my system id just sleep all the time.

 

well im getting closer now to levelling out

[Krosigrim]

Yea about the panicking, I had that after I quit, then toked up again. I got waay too high and was almost freaking out. I know people who had the same... one guy talked a friend of mine out of it, telling him it was his mind snowballing the effect and just chill out. And he did just that.

 

HAHAHA I remember a friend of mine had stopped, then smoked with us in the garage after a long dry spell... he had to leave 'cause he kept imagining my head exploding and couldnt snap out of it heh.