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Embarrassing moments...


Salorskin
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One time while hanging out with friends all day drinking, eating fast food, and drinking a milk shake we decided to head back to my friends Salorskins house and chill. I received a random call from that chick i posted up in 4chan thread, she said she was in town and really wanted to hang out. I really was not feeling well due to everything I had consumed earlier but my friends greatly encouraged me to go hang out anyway, "heck Ryan, you might get laid man!".

 

So I agreed and she came and picked me up, about a mile or two away from my friends house my stomach started acting up, the pain was intense. Within about 10 minutes I could no longer contain myself and expressed the torture I was going through, she asked if I was drinking and I said yes. She offered to pull over because she thought I had to regurgitate , I agreed. But what I really needed to do was go diarrhea but was to embarrassed to say. No I did not throw up or go diarrhea at this point.

 

She pulled over in a shopping center parking lot, I walked away to some nearby bushes and pretended to throw up. I walked back all fine and happy, she was like "you don't look like you threw up." I told her I did and got over it fast. Something like that. Well we were by chance driving towards my house (thank God!) and my stomach started acting up like crazy again, I told her to please hurry to my place, she sped up but it was to late, I was literally squeezing my cheeks together to hold it in. I asked her to please pull over to the side of the road (it was a grassy walk way) because I can no longer hold it.

 

I got out of her car as fast as I could and took off my pants and briefs as fast as i could, before I could completely squat down it started shooting out like crazy. I decided to take off all my clothes and set them in front of me (what was I thinking? :P) at the risk of me getting liquid poop on them. So there I am, totally naked and going diarrhea on the side of the road. All of the sudden at 3am cars decided to drive by, so I stood up reaching for my pants but was to late, the car was to fast and saw me completely naked, add four more cars to that. Then a cop car drove by really slow, so I put my hand to the side of my head in the fashion of a cell phone and pretended to talk on it.

 

Thankfully they just drove by real slow and decided not to approach me. Couple more cars drove by and I was finally done with nothing to wipe with. I had no choice so I used both of my socks, surprisingly they got the job done. I put all my clothes back on, headed over to her car parked across the street at the park and headed back to my friends house and took a shower, thankfully none of it got on me or my clothes. To be honest I was not at all embarrassed about this, I thought it was really funny.

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She pulled over in a shopping center parking lot, I walked away to some nearby bushes and pretended to throw up. I walked back all fine and happy, she was like "you don't look like you threw up." I told her I did and got over it fast. Something like that.

What was the point of pretending to throw up? :P

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She pulled over in a shopping center parking lot, I walked away to some nearby bushes and pretended to throw up. I walked back all fine and happy, she was like "you don't look like you threw up." I told her I did and got over it fast. Something like that.

What was the point of pretending to throw up? :P

 

Haha I don't know, I was desperate and could not think straight.

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She pulled over in a shopping center parking lot, I walked away to some nearby bushes and pretended to throw up. I walked back all fine and happy, she was like "you don't look like you threw up." I told her I did and got over it fast. Something like that.

What was the point of pretending to throw up? :D

 

Haha I don't know, I was desperate and could not think straight.

Couldn't you have just went to the bathroom at one of the stores in the shopping center? :P

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She pulled over in a shopping center parking lot, I walked away to some nearby bushes and pretended to throw up. I walked back all fine and happy, she was like "you don't look like you threw up." I told her I did and got over it fast. Something like that.

What was the point of pretending to throw up? :D

 

Haha I don't know, I was desperate and could not think straight.

Couldn't you have just went to the bathroom at one of the stores in the shopping center? :P

It was really late and none of them were open.

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She pulled over in a shopping center parking lot, I walked away to some nearby bushes and pretended to throw up. I walked back all fine and happy, she was like "you don't look like you threw up." I told her I did and got over it fast. Something like that.

What was the point of pretending to throw up? :D

 

Haha I don't know, I was desperate and could not think straight.

Couldn't you have just went to the bathroom at one of the stores in the shopping center? :P

It was really late and none of them were open.

How about the gas station? Those are always open. ;)

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She pulled over in a shopping center parking lot, I walked away to some nearby bushes and pretended to throw up. I walked back all fine and happy, she was like "you don't look like you threw up." I told her I did and got over it fast. Something like that.

What was the point of pretending to throw up? :D

 

Haha I don't know, I was desperate and could not think straight.

Couldn't you have just went to the bathroom at one of the stores in the shopping center? :P

It was really late and none of them were open.

How about the gas station? Those are always open. ;)

There was not one near by at the moment, besides those toilets are covered in filth...

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She pulled over in a shopping center parking lot, I walked away to some nearby bushes and pretended to throw up. I walked back all fine and happy, she was like "you don't look like you threw up." I told her I did and got over it fast. Something like that.

What was the point of pretending to throw up? :D

 

Haha I don't know, I was desperate and could not think straight.

Couldn't you have just went to the bathroom at one of the stores in the shopping center? :P

It was really late and none of them were open.

How about the gas station? Those are always open. ;)

There was not one near by at the moment, besides those toilets are covered in filth...

No one said you had to actually put your ass on the toilet. Plus, if anyone is stupid enough to put their bare ass on any public toilet then they must accept any diseases they may catch. I always put like 10 rolls of toilet paper over any public toilet before I release my inner bowels. :)

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ew.... dude...that's crazy..... I wonder what the chick was thinking the whole time? first you fake throw up, then you take all your clothes off behind a bush, then pretend to talk on the phone....If I were her, I'd take you home and never call back... hahahahahahahahahaha

 

It was not behind a bush, it was pretty out in the open.

We had sex a few months later on my birthday. :P

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