Awww, hell yeah. I gots to get into this. lol 1. 3 scientists go on an explorative journey for the legendary "Foo" bird. They believe it to be somewhere within central Africa. They went weeks and weeks without finding anything, then one day, out of nowhere, they hear, "FOO! FOO!". They look up, and to their suprise, a Foo bird is flying right over them. As it passes, it $hits on the first scientist. He wipes it off, then dies. Without even stepping a foot. Then some more weeks pass, while the 2 scientists keep looking for this bird. One day, they hear "FOO! FOO!". The look up as the Foo bird flys over them and $hits on the 2nd scientist. He wipes it off, then dies immediately after. Now, the 3rd scientist, the only thing he's thinking is that he needs to escape. But before that's an option, he again hears, "FOO! FOO!". Looks up and sees the Foo bird, rights as $hit lands in his face. He wipes it off, and dies immediately. Question: What's the moral of this story? Answer: If the Foo $hits, wear it. ________________________________________________________ 2. There was once a fish in a stream who saw a fly minding its business just out of each over the water. The fish thinks to itself, "If that fly drops I will have dinner." Just on the side of the stream concealed in brush waited a bear who was watching the fish eyeball the fly and he thinks to himself, "If the fly drops, the fish will rise, eat it and I will grab it and feast tonight." However on the other side of the stream hiding in the tall grass was a hunter watching the whole situation while eating a PBJ sandwich, and he thought to himself, "If that fly drops , the fish will jump, the bear will come out of its hiding, grab it, and I will shoot and become the envy of all my buddies back home." Just below the hunter waited a field mouse who was also watching the situation develop, and it thought to itself, "If that fly drops, the fish will rise and eat it, the bear will come out and grab the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear and at the same time drop his sandwich, then I will feast." Unbenownst to the mouse, a cat was stalking it in the tall grass while watching the whole thing unfold, and it thought, "If the fly drops, the fish will jump for it, the bear will go for the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear and drop his sandwich, the mouse will go for the sandwich and I will get the mouse." So the fly drops, the fish jumps and gets it, the bear lunges out of the brush and snags the fish out of the air, the hunter drops his sandwich and shoots, the mouse darts to grab the sandwich, and the cat pounces, but it misses and rolls into the stream. Question: What's the moral of this story? Answer: Fly goes down, pu$$y gets wet.