I could quite frankly, just be a "loser"

[Devia Eleven]

I've gone through leaps and bounds dealing with my problems. Here is the deal, I think I've finally realized that, I could quite possibly, fail at life.

 

This isn't a joke, I'm not depressed, I'm not ashamed, however, I am happy to know that I am mature enough to finally accept the fact that I just fail at life at the moment, there's not much to it. Instead of denying that fact, it's just prevalent in my everyday life.

 

This persona, of a clever and well-natured male, is just that, a persona. In real life I am in my room the majority of the day, staying away from humans altogether, denying my desire for friendship.

 

That's just it, the internet is my place to live.

 

I am a demented teenager, that any socially active adult can verbally slash through in a few minutes.

 

I am not complex.

 

I am not extremely intellectual. I am just going to live life and not take it too seriously.

[Lucandrake]

I've found a whole slew of people like that down here, sure you can do the same .

[veristic]

Find a job? Kinda forces you to expose yourself to humans and the daily grind. Unless you already have one and am not content still.

 

Or find a girl you really like, if she doesn't motivate you I don't know what will, aside from death itself. I'm sure any man can feel inadequate around the right girl, but if you really want to keep one, you'll have to get off your ass and work toward it.

[Inky]

I think you should stay in your room until your body turns to jelly.

[emsley]

I think he should drink a few beers and hang with lose women.

[VT-Vincent]

I don't think you can reduce life to a mere pass/fail grade. You're clearly unhappy with the way things are going for you and that's important to recognize. From there you need to stop, reflect and figure out what is making you feel that way. Are you not living up standards you set for yourself, or standards that others have set for you? If these feeling are based on what others think of you, you need to ignore them and focus on where you want your life to go.

[Sybarite Paladin AxL]

I think you'll find this quite adequate for your situation.

 

Also, I sometimes feel the same way as you. I just don't give up. And it's worked. I'm ever so slowly making progress. I'd recommend you first getting a hooker. Also, if at all possible, try to get into very violent fights and survive. That's sure to change your perspective a bit. What you need is extremes right now. I'd also recommend you trying to achieve financial independence and indulging your pleasures.

 

I found that striving for and living for pleasure works for me. But, as with everything else, that takes effort. So put some backbone into it. Also, lose weight (shot in the dark here, don't know what your weight is) but yeah, lose weight, work out, get yourself to look better. Eat better (fruit works), smile more, don't start smoking cigarettes, start doing doing drugs (anything earthy like weed and shrooms). Check on all your friends, see who's more socially active, and go out on the town, get wasted, get a bitch drunk, fuck her etc. Also, you're from Egypt if I remember right. Get out of there. Go into some crazy European country. Find a scholarship or some shit in Europe, go there and quit Egypt for good, start a business, don't work for a boss, make plans. Listen to every type of music possible.

 

Question your religion, find your own or get a set of core values. A man is not a man without honor.

 

Drink, drug up, fuck and work out. Read some literature in between. Good luck.

[veristic]

^Lol

[emsley]

^Lol

 

Holy fuck i thought that too.

 

Get a hooker smash some skulls.

Manly.

[Krosigrim]

Find a job?

He is in the Air Force... I believe.

Or find a girl you really like, if she doesn't motivate you I don't know what will, aside from death itself. I'm sure any man can feel inadequate around the right girl, but if you really want to keep one, you'll have to get off your ass and work toward it.

Well that is 50/50 with the knowledge we have of him. Multiple points... A situation there might make "it" worse, or better. A girl can help pull you out, or pull you further in.

 

I think you should stay in your room until your body turns to jelly.

Why does this sound... OH YEA!!! Thats what Im doing! And... I did turn to jelly! I did

 

I think he should drink a few beers and hang with lose women.

HAHA

 

I don't think you can reduce life to a mere pass/fail grade. You're clearly unhappy with the way things are going for you and that's important to recognize. From there you need to stop, reflect and figure out what is making you feel that way. Are you not living up standards you set for yourself, or standards that others have set for you? If these feeling are based on what others think of you, you need to ignore them and focus on where you want your life to go.

I agree that you cannot easily grade life...

 

But what I think is needed here is a reality check. Hear me out. I need a reality check, AGAIN! Sometimes its just needed. There is nothing like shear reality slapping you in your face to make you either change directions or re-affirm your beliefs.

 

This is what I see, AND obviously I do not know you 11 so it's not like I can psycho analyze you, or believe that 100% of what I say here pertains to you. Ok...

 

You seem angry. You may deny this. You also dont seem to relate to others a whole lot... frankly, you might even be somewhat socially awkward. That is not a bad thing if it hits home... Everyone is different. You live on base? Living on base can isolate those who are not of a mold.

 

I left friends in Orlando. I have been up here for over a year now and honestly all I have met are acquaintances. No real friends. When Im with my friends I can let loose or do whatever... Like everyone, each friend has values and interests that differ from the next guy/girl. I can go to the comic shop with one where as the others may not dig that. I can go shoot pool with most but there are a few who would rather stay inside. With each friend I can do what it is we like. Thankfully our "click" likes alot of the same stuff.

 

Since I've been up here i've been dreadfully bored. I play my games constantly and dont do much of anything else. I should work out and loose all this jelly I've accumulated! I should begin training (martial arts) I should start up my drawing again. I should finish that DAMN joystick thats still in pieces in my closet. There are alot of things I could do but I dont. All I do is stay in my room.

 

Now Im not saying being with my friends was constructive... usually the opposite. But I had fun!

 

An old co-worker came by and picked me up last week. We chilled at his place and played Tekken and so on. He had 3 other roommates and honestly, I can say I did indeed act somewhat awkward at times. As if my social skill diminished. I have lived in isolation... and that is not good.

 

What I am saying, is you need to find people you can do something with. You say you always stay in your room... so do I. One would ask, "lets go somewhere" Id reply, "nah- Id rather chill here" Or my sister asks me to go to the gym with her, I say "no thank you, maybee next time" I never want to do anything! Perhaps that is part of the reason I'm going to Pennsylvania on a trip for a couple of days... As in I said yes instead of the usual... "no"

 

We are social entities. We cannot be at our fullest extent unless we have others to interact with. Relate to, not-relate to. Give us perspective or show us another way. I can say from experience... ALOT of experience, life fucking moves quick. Next thing you'll know you'll be 25, then the next day 30. Finding friends is one thing, but you gotta find yourself too. Friends/girlfriend can help... or hurt. like I said thats 50/50.

 

If you dont ever want to go out... as in nothing sounds "FUN" to you... you need to MAKE yourself do something. Perhaps you dont want to, but you need to. Living in your room like I do is no good. Take it from a guy thats 31, and been doing it since forever ago.

 

Go shoot some pool! If you suck... great! Then you have something to work on! "pool sucks"? Then go bowling. Fake wall mountain climbing, water skiing, something, anything.

 

Yea I dont know you, but there are a few things here that I am certain of. One of which is you do not seem to meet the right people. Friends or otherwise. You said on multiple occasions that others effect or can effect you negatively. "slash through you" and I recall something about someone describing your anti social behavior on base.

 

You need to do find some people who like something that you do. Games, Video games, Sports something. Theeeeeen find yourself a girl. Yea... a girl is the perfect excuse to go and do stuff.

 

Go and do something...

 

( I tried to minimize the crushing walls of text )

[Inky]

good advise. you can't really stay alone forever. because you are in a funk nothing sounds fun. but once you are in the moment I think you'll find some joy. not everyone is the popular guy with a million friends. but you need a few to stay sane.

[emsley]

Do shit for your self Daria, if your stuck on base its as good as a prison.

My friend is a lot like you, and prefers his safe routine. But your obviously not happy with this,i see a man itching to get out here and do stuff.

 

My buddy wont even go out for a beer with me, I try to build him up round women but he wont budge or make moves gets caught up in anxiety all the time, he loves to sit at home playing PC games and building guitars, I have noticed he has started smoking weed even though i warned him not to i said "look at me!!!" "you don want to end up like me do you!!!?" anyway he carried on smoking it.

 

Stop grinding your thoughts, consider beer more often, and consider maybe even starting some anti depressants.

your body is young and not fucked up, so hit the beer!!!

[Krosigrim]

good advise. you can't really stay alone forever. because you are in a funk nothing sounds fun. but once you are in the moment I think you'll find some joy. not everyone is the popular guy with a million friends. but you need a few to stay sane.

 

Do shit for your self Daria, if your stuck on base its as good as a prison.

My friend is a lot like you, and prefers his safe routine. But your obviously not happy with this,i see a man itching to get out here and do stuff.

 

My buddy wont even go out for a beer with me, I try to build him up round women but he wont budge or make moves gets caught up in anxiety all the time, he loves to sit at home playing PC games and building guitars, I have noticed he has started smoking weed even though i warned him not to i said "look at me!!!" "you don want to end up like me do you!!!?" anyway he carried on smoking it.

 

Stop grinding your thoughts, consider beer more often, and consider maybe even starting some anti depressants.

your body is young and not fucked up, so hit the beer!!!

These guys got it right.

 

Ill add this. I never want to do anything... nothing sounds appealing. This is often me talking myself out of things. Try to not let this happen. Honestly, go out and find something to do. There are a million things to do, it cant be that hard to find a few things.

 

Of course Im used to living in Orlando where there is anything one can think of... Out here in VA Beach area there is not 1/8 of what Orlando has, so finding something is much harder.

 

You may reject everything I have said but mark my words, you need to get the hell out of your room. Water Ski, Parasailing, (I dont know how close you live to activities like this. Pool, darts, go carts, perhaps a new hobbie? Build gas powered radio controlled cars. If you rot away in your room as I have for sooooo very long... you WILL regret it.

 

You will

[emsley]

Been socially active is the first way to build future blocks for better things.

You will meet assholes, dickheads, muppets, boneheads, and you will meet good guys, safe guys, super dudes who are positive people.

 

get new friends and the women come later.

 

11 Send me your email please I have a book for you that you may find a good read.

[Devia Eleven]

I wasn't planning on posting a reply to this thread, but I will now because this is the best forum on the interwebs.

 

Many people, even my Dad is telling me that having no desire to talk or interact with people is bad. It's not that I'm afraid of doing it, which is the basic template for an anti-socialist, it's just that I don't care, I don't care what other people or doing, I don't care how your day is going, I don't care if you find me attractive, I don't care what a person thinks of me, I just don't care about any of it.

 

It doesn't pique my interest at all.

 

Because of this I just keep to myself, participate in activities alone unless I absolutely have to get someone else to do it with me.

 

My life isn't about seeing how many people I can befriend, it's about doing anything I want, and if people want to criticize me because of my lack of interest in social interactivity, then so be it.

 

I was basically generalizing, that in a stereotypical human society, my life right now, all of the symptoms, is ensuing, that I am a complete loser. I don't talk to many people unless it is absolutely necessary, I hate small talk because it goes nowhere, social gatherings don't do anything for me.

 

Then again, like I said before, a socially active person will keep telling me, "If you keep living your life in social apathy, you will suffer, you suck, I hope you die", and I am accepting this, I don't care about conforming to everyone else's way of life.

 

Anytime anyone inquires about how my life works, they basically tell me, "Well, since you're not a social expert like I am, who has sex with many girls, has many friends, goes to parties, drinks alcohol, and has very healthy social life, you aren't worth my time, you don't even deserve to look at me because of it".

 

Why can't I just do what I want?