emsley

How not to flirt from my facebook: An example of been laughed at and not with. Chick i know: :) :) :) :) :) do i look happy!!! (Look at me!!) some guy: puttin thos Ann Summers toys 2 use r u? lol (nice play random guy good opener! and immediately sets the tone for a "sexual conversation") Chick I know: Ha ha ha talking about that i had 2 brand new ones delivered today,i know you like them so let me know and ill get ya discount haha!!! (i could possibily be interested in having sex with you - but you might be a wussy guy are you a wussy?) (Chick i know is an exellent flirt) Random guy: r8 stuff! its been ages since i had a rubber cock up my bum!!!!! i feel like a virgin agen! hahahahahahahaha (Random drops the ball) Chick I know: ha ha ha ha well this one is called the thruster and i know you like that so ill get ya sorted lmao!! (Nice try dumb ass Your not the one for me sure ill stomp on your balls like the little bitch you are and shove a dildo in your ass) Random guy: na uv gt that wrong.... im known as "the thruster!!" bt fook it il giv it a go!! hahaha (I am manly... ... um... Fuck it I do want a dildo in my ass!) Chick I know: Ha ha ha known as the thruster!!!Thats good comeback haha!!You might like it too much and not go near a girl again lol!!!Dont be upsetting all those ladies whos after your bum haha! (The thruster??? and your on about taking a dildo? i think you might be gay no use to me i have one kid - ill give you one more chance to impress me?????) Random guy has now realised something amazing: He openly admits he wants a dildo in his ass, drops the ball, cant think of a dam thing to say while he gets that warm feeling in the back of his neck, women talk in secret code the abilatie to decipher it on-line is important as you have more time than in real life) This chick is actually quite eager to find a new boyfreind she just cant find a MAN she has one child and a guy who like the above shows signs of "Will I upset her if I dont agree with her?" is allready loosing points in her selection process to be a good candidate for her and her son.

Get a sneaky one in your hand then put it under your girls nose when she is sleeping or awake. Its best when they are "Just" going off then you let em have it.

I typed the thread "Warning" lol

Wow - This is going to be awesome because women never fart hold it in and run outside to let rip - his psi gonna be sweet to use on women. Look here the largest percentage of tubby people and by definition fat people fart the most: The top 3 are US 30.6%, Mexico 24.2%, UK 23% I just tod this girl I know that when she holds her farts in she is really damaging her self I told her the gasses poison her bowls I wonder if she will turn into an open farter now?

lol well thats that.

^ Treat your self to season one on DVD LSD. I would if I had the cash./

Serious question!

Its funny in it? I used to watch that on an evening. when he tarmacs his drive way with soap... hahah

Not its a pick up method - your doing attractive things that have been engineered to work your just taking a short cut in getting there. Come on guys you all see that chick online and go "Hell yeah!" but how do you do it? Well now you kinda know. I used to have this script of copy and paste text that you could use to open, then seal it was fucking amazing you got the same responses nearly all the time.

You got that right more than you know :)

I have to throw this in: Change your profile picture often it catches the eye - i use famous people that i like and when women see it and dudes they associate "new emotions" with the image - this is good stuff. I also put my own picture up now and then, i must change it once a week or something. And sometiems I will play the charecter I use in a picture, when I had clint eastwood I went round calling people zipper heads. Build proof though with pictures of your self first though. Ok ok ok im going!!

I hide all the spam and crap and my facebook is all right - tolerable. Meeting chicks in the real world works way better than online

I wrote this purely for guys who are inexperienced with chicks and don't have much luck - just doing these things on face book will help them out till they get there own shit together; it also helps guys who are "nearly" there who just need a few apples and pears adding to there tree.

hahaha Its impossible to please you anyways cinder.

I think it was 6 months ago when I really had given up on facebook but then thats when it hit me, the more fun i had for myself and my friends the more attention I got from others. I still struggle with anything in the looks department that is an 8 or above but I've gone from only getting 7s to 8s a lot more often than not now. I pre select carefully when I notice a chick on another status - I have EMBARRASSED myself LOADS and learned what works so you dont have to go through all that The really pretty ones are normally quite and very hard to "open" I mean you use awesome material on them and they just dont "get it" some of them are thick as fuck - while others who never shut the hell up are obviously easier to engage. I've creeped women out, been called stalker, made them shit there pants everything you can think off. I once called the hottest bitch ever a squint eyed chick who looks like she has mild down syndrome... I've tried all kinds of shit to get their attention one time i timed my self (I'd had a few beers) i said "Wonder how long it takes to get that bitch who has never once talked to me to ban me?" i did it in 4 minutes!!! I have fun...

Online isnt for everyone - I quit myspace as I found it extra annoying. i think facebook is really poplor in england compared to the USA I still think myspace is more of the yanks way of doing ATM. Im constantly online reading writing and facebook sits in the corner I just figured out what works and shared with you all.

Please don't die Belth.

2nd and final part to improving your attractive quality's with facebook. Eventually a chick will look at your facebook page and have a REALLY good snoop around, they will even go through your history of posts, look how you interact with other people and all kinds of shit - they are very clever when they need to be. So what are you going to put in your info box? This does not seal or brake any deals but it does help if there is something in there that denotes an active, intelligent male. An unatractive male puts this in his info boxes: Smoking copious amounts of weed, snorting coke of hookers ass cracks, drinking lots of beer, lying on the couch watching TV Moaning about my weight eating more cheeseburgers Dont ever put you take drugs! Unless your into drugs then that is up to you. (your already on the wrong path there sport if you do so pack it in before you get addicted) I know ya feel me here guys so an attractive guy will put: Jogging, playing sports, bit of weight lifting, i like to train now and then in martial art of your choice. (proves your not a total flump and could stand your ground if other jackasses tried something) hanging out with the lads, etc etc Interests: Psychology, philosophy, colouring in, (im not kidding!) guitar/piano singing Make it bright. Like I said your info box is something only a REALLY REALLY interested woman will LOOK AT. Passer bys or fairy heads float of to the next shiny thing, so make sure you are the shiny thing she is looking at. Moving on: When your facebook page becomes used a lot and you will find women post up a lot on your comments - now here is where sometimes you will be "Tested" when a guy notices your face book page has quite a few women interacting with you they will ALWAYS come in and try to steal a bit of your thunder, deal with it because its going to happen. Some of the shit Me and my buddys rib each other on facebook about are funny - but sometimes you will get an insecure guy think "FUCKING WANKER!!! LOOK AT ALL THEM WOMEN!!" And he will float up in your status updates with some insecure bullshit You: Hey all i just broke the world record for been the best. AFC(Average frustrated chump): The best at sucking cock and chatting shit like you always do on here you win it hands down. (you can tell the difference when someone is messing about and when someone fires of a shit test at you and is basicly been a twat with you) Chick who likes you will see this and go "Ohhhhhhhh!" I wonder what he will say! Now this is gonna go a few ways: 1. you lose your temper and say get the fuck outta my face talking shit to me then delete the cunt. (perfectly acceptabile but better ways to deal with to prove you are a LEADER OF MEN) 2. You ignore it. (but this guy will be back if you dont nip it in the bud and he will eventually disrespect you and OTHERS WILL TOO AND WOMEN DON'T LIKE GUYS WHO GET DISRESPECTED ALL THE TIME) 3. You use our friend humour to defuse the situation. You: Man that's not cool bro I don't appreciate you talking like that to me. AFC: Yeah well..... .... ...... (defeated knows hes been a jerk if he keeps escualting keep your cool in the end these guys always end up looking like AFC what he is really saying to you is "How the fuck do you do it!??") Some of my best friends have been guys I have argued with. i only let other guys rib me because they respect me an I respect them if its some guy you hardly know but have added then this could happen KEEP YOUR FACE BOOK CLEAN show her you have a line and it wont be crossed (this will show you are a man and you have boundaries that you wont accept been crossed women are VERY clever with little subtle things like this and she wont respect what you have no respect for while we get busy raging at guys they now know you have a button that can be pushed so its important that its kept under wraps) Display any talents or skills you have Pictures or videos are good if you are artistic upload pictures play the guitar upload a video when you know your target is going to see it of you playing. That's about it guys - I think that's about as much as your gonna need - and remember when you have her attracted you can have your wicked way with her or keep her its up to you but don't let women you have pumped come on your facebook and wreck it, it will sour any current targets you have planned. Good luck! Ems.

You are awesome for saying that. Bring social proof to the table. EDIT: I'm going to write up some more a little later about displaying skills/talents and how to use them to attract - if you get this shit right - it gets really easy!

Just for you guy's out there looking to use the social site as a pick-up place for meeting women. Ok going to places like plenty of fish, tagged, or myspace are all very well and good but guess what? They lack something and you know what that something is? TRUST. Because the sole purpose of sites like the above (ok not myspace but pretty much) is to seek out sexual partners, women might say "Just here for the laugh" or "My friend said I should try this." What they are actually saying is "Oh fuck I can't get a boyfreind I cant believe I'm doing this, no doubt they will all be cranks sending me pictures of their cocks in the first message they send me!" if a woman messaged you on-line who was attractive and the convo went like this: Her: Wanna fuck lets meet up NOW! I don't give a rats ass what you say even a "desperate" guy would go over this with a fine comb, get the willies and not find her attractive because of the manner that she approached him in, the same can be said for guys of all ages still "Doing it wrong." And coming across as a dithering idiot. The only people that do this kind of meet up online are self confessed swingers, perverts, and cranks. And you don't want to be any of them when meeting a potential long term girl. Ok I will now list the main factors in having a face book that is highly attractive to women. Patience. Not a guys strong point online and a word that is kind of annoying to any bloke with women. In the past year i have met and boned around five women through face book and At this moment I have about another 4 with "LTR" or "Long term relationship" on the back burner. (people i met prior in real life too) Not bad for a place I was going to use anyway right? And none of the women I have met have been Low quality or yucky whores that melt condoms either. Patience online is important it portrays a million attractive things to the woman that they DONT even know your doing to them. I LEARNED THIS THE HARD WAY SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO. Example: Status updates: Don't hound them - don't jump on every little thing they say or do - you will become an irratance - unknowingly but people who constantly talk to the same person or interact with online can quickly become boring and your cock will be placed back in the hot dog tin with the rest of them. (deangelos) Patience displays lack of neediness, that you have a life away from the computer. Think of your self as a dollop of mustard - the rest are all bread and water but when you show up or say something its a nice hot taste. By the way you can replace mustard with , hunny, choccy, or stake just write your own metaphore. You might only get one or two meet ups in the first year or maybe none at all BUT EVENTUALLY... This shit is like eating an amazing choclate just one... But then you have two... and before you know it your eating ten of the fuckers a day. Social proof & pictures Social proof is the same as TRUST but it works in different ways. Firstly a guy who posts pictures up of him self taken by him self is a lot less attractive than a guy who is pictured with his buddys SMILING, My freind online has only pictures of him self never smiles and has a "Bleak" out look online - in all the time I have snooped his shit out I noticed only one woman showing interest and when I said "hey bud that chick is into you why dont you try and meet up?" He replied with the usual "I have 100000000000 zillion reasons not to do that." Guess what? His genetics are losing the battle. Women dont just look at you and work out that your so mystical and dam hot that she better worship the floor you walk on - NOT GONNA HAPPEN. YOU GOTTA EARN THAT SHIT. Pictures of you with your family even if its just your mum, sister or brother show you are a "family guy" and women "love" guys who tend to their own flock because some place in her little sub concious switches are flicking in your favour maybe its just a passing thought in her such as "Babys??? safe, family man." On my facebook i have pictures of me making a snowman for my sisters little girl - This was a genuine occasion but guess what? It BOOSTED my attraction a billion times. Get pictures of you and your friends having a good time, and a few pictures of relaxing moments like sitting in the park or whatever. Its all well and good having 9889899 friends on your list but do you actually interact with any of them? If you give out good vibes on their pages they will give them back to yours again EARN it. Women who see men talking online, goofing around, having fun, and talking about the odd "serious stuff" shows you are a "social creature." Does she want to hang with insecure bob who only has pictures of him self looking grumpy with no friends? Or does she want to hang with John because he looks like a shit load of fun and actually smiles? Don't be a social outcast - and you will attract women. Display humour and loving nature to develop an emotional bond with the woman Cold manly men who cant loosen up or accept that their brain is a fucking emotional shit hole cut them serfs off from others including women. Ok a few times like guys who work out and have muscles coming out of their eye lids do find the odd truffle - but this is based purely on a primitive physical attraction "Knuckle heads" are exactly that and attract that type of woman, who is also an empty head and is probably in to drugs too, don't ask why but every chick I know who goes for the steroid/buff/empty headed guy normally has big fucking issues with loyalty, morales, intelligence, and standards, cold people attract cold people in some cases. So remember the "Big guys" your secretly scared of will be TERRIFIED of you because your social hip, he might have muscles in the arms but you got it where it REALLY counts in the old cog factory. These guys are no challenge at all. On using humour to attract Show emotion - use humour - and most IMPORTANTLY of all show your PERSONALITY. I often get called "Nutcase" or "Are you sane today" by women I see in the street who look at my face book - i just smile and say "pretty much." EVERY chick I see in real life always says "But you're so funny!!!!" They laugh go red and you can see their emotions saying "Receive his sperms!!" Learn to be funny learn to be a little too cocky! Example: A guy who is not funny: Eric: I jumped over a fence. I landed in some shit. I had a shower. lol???? A guy who is funny: I jumped over this fucking fence today man what the fuck! I landed on a big old hunk of shit in my new trainers! Its ok though when I got home I punched my mother in the ribs for the cost of my embaressment. Just kidding! Look before you leap! Nothing like humour to ATTRACT so learn to use it!!! Develop a GREAT if not a fucking awesome personality. Oh and be careful when including your self in the joke: You: A guy fucked me in the ass in prison. Then his buddys did. They put a magazine in my mouth and spat down it too. NOW THATS FUNNY BUT!!! THE JOKE IS YOU!!! WHEN BEEN FUNNY BE CARE FULL YOU DON'T MAKE YOUR SELF OUT TO BE THE IDIOT IN THE STOREY!! You: A guy tried to fuck me in prison so I I pulled my pants down and wiggled my fine ass at him and while he was entranced with me i drop kicked him in the face took his smokes and shoved his ass out of my cell. See? Slight difference but BIG to the woman. Thats all I got for now but I hope it helps you improve your online game. Love and respect, Emsley.

This is ... Madness..

^ Aussies are real men they have a separate phone book named "This is my address lets have a fight!" Mostly blokes but soem lezzers in there too.

They hate the english i know that much.

Nice - if I wasnt on a dongle I would give it a whirl but ill use all my allowence up realy quick with a few games.

i bet cars in Australia have huge mileage - if you want to nip and see your grandma it normally involves a 678 day drive with supplies of emergency water in the back of the car. My sister been to Australia twice the spawny bitch - the second time she went she was housed up in some kind of farm in the middle of no place with her boyfreind and to "nip" to the shop it included a full half an hour drive.