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How I puown3d up a woman.

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emsley

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I was outside digging in my front garden for buried treasure with my shirt off when a Hot blond chick walked past and did not even look at me i immediately knew from all my hours of Pick artist schooling she secretly wanted me to have my way with her so I snuck up behind her and popped her one in the back of the head with my fist, she just yelled "ow" like a pussy and looked at me so I drove the shovel him for the win, with a satisfying "Wham" sound she was out cold.

 

I dragged her by her feet to my back garden and threw her next to a pile of stuff i had found in the street and went back to digging for treasure.

 

A few hours later I had not found anything so I went to check on my new girlfriend when she came round I stood there flexing my pecks, i said "How hot am I baby! yeah!" She said some woman stuff about kidnapping and assault but I told her to shut the hell up or I would pee on her, but I peed on her anyway and lold she called me a sick bastard.

 

I slapped her on the ass and said "You like that."

 

i promised I wouldn't make love to her until she felt comfortable with me and said to come on inside my house while I play video games (I knew this would impress possibly even amaze her!) she wouldn't move so i threw her over my back and carried her in side.

 

i made her a tuna sandwich and give her a can of larger to add to my awesome.

I was very pleased with my self this was probably the best pick up I have ever done in my life!!!

 

She didn't eat the tuna sandwich or drink her beer. So I called her a selfish bitch and showed her pictures of starving kids on the internet and said "They would give anything for a tuna sandwich and a can of beer."

 

She started crying and saying sorry. Haha Noob! Guilt trip!!!

 

Anyway turns out I was insane and Im not allowed near women any more.

Pfft! What they they know about a pick up artist!

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