I dominated a political figure and here are the results!

[emsley]

Ok this convo started on facebook - I had been drinking and was pretty wasted so I stirred some shit up on a political partys page I just put "You're all the same you all let us down you morons."

As you can probably tell I instantly received a million death threats! One conversation was of a particular highlight here it is:

 

(This was her name she was at least 45 with her tits half hanging out of her top)

 

English lady: your views are not welcome you jerkoff. Uneducated f*ckwit

 

Me: degree is psychology says I am you fucking turn belt cunt accept the fact your wasted and this country is dead. ALL HOPE IS GONE.

 

NO PLACE LEFT TO RUN! (I'm drunk I dont give a shit just firing it off)

 

English lady: shut up stupid

 

(I did not reply I was winding some other guy up)

 

English Lady: it's a good job the brave men who fought in WW1 and 11 to save your arse didn't take that attitude. Now belt up and fk off

 

(I still did not reply she was biting like a dog with rabies)

 

English Lady: you have no degree. You can't even spell. And you don't kinow MY qualifications idiot. Now do as you're told fuckwit and GET THE HELL OUT

 

(Uh oh shes on to me better think fast! But before I can reply shock and horror CAPS LOCK INSULT MOTHERFUCKER )

 

English lady: YOU ARE THE PERFECT EXAMPLE OF THE GUTLESS WONDERS THIS GOVERNMENT HAS SPAWNED. YOU ARE USELESS AND NOT HALF THE MAN THAT HENRY ALLINGHAM WAS, NOT EVEN A FRACTION. DEGREE MY ASS! YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE BASIC INTELLIGENCE.

 

(Omg no wei its like she has known me her whole life! but wait she STILL has MORE to say!)

 

English Lady: Bet you don't even know who Henry Allingham was ignorant twat. You won't beat me in a battle of wills. I enjoy making mincemeat out of twats like you so carry on and you will give me the pleasure.

 

(By now Im looking out of one EYE wondering how I even started this conversation)

 

Me: "Kinow" what the fuck is Kinow? I know i make typos often but that's my problem...

 

Omg your almost as redundant as your political agenda!

 

(Bare in mind my avatar is of a terroist out of the movie "TEAM AMERICA!"

 

English Lady: Haven't even read your mind-vomit. I told you before. Fk off YOU WON'T WIN but we will and then you will choke on your own crap. I've eaten bigger men than you for breakfast.

 

(She has eaten BIGGER men than me for breakfast! She must get hungry!!)

 

Me:"choke on my own crap?"

Holy fuck!

You're not doing a very good job for your party! (as in bunch on noobs who will never get in power and even if they did no on would give a fuck!)

Come and get it man eater!

 

English lady: I am not indulging you any further fuckwit. Go and get yourself some medical help tomorrow. Not even reading your crap now. Can't be arsed. Like I said, you won't beat me. You haven't and you DON'T LIKE IT. Now I shall not be replying anymore, just deleting. Now fuck off.

 

(Allready did!)

 

Me: Dude you got to wash the sand out of your vagina...

By the way flashing your tits does nothing for you in attracting a man of power you may have been hurt in hte past but hanging with guys like this...

You're so cute! dumbass!

DEFEATED! OHJHHHH TEH EMSLEY!

 

English lady: and hitting the delete button without reading. Now off to bed you go... you might not be up in time for your paper round.

 

Told you, you will not defeat me. Each message you send I delete. I just saw the word "defeated" on the top line and assume you think I am defeated. Not so. Keep sending. I keep deleting. We're all in hysterics here. You're making yourself look the twat you are. Keep it up. It's hilarious! xxx

 

(Yeah I know I'm funny!)

 

Me: wash twice daily with soap!

 

(I now pass out and sleep)

 

Now I cut the convo dead or she does or whatever and For NO REASON i just start it up again the next day!

 

Me:will you be my friend? the reason im such a jerk is that i was abused when i was a child and i express my anger to people i think will understand.

x (Props to MADDOX FOR THE SUCKER REPLY!)

 

English lady: Why do you want me to be your friend all of a sudden? Why the change of heart?

 

(not even an eyebrow rasied at me been molested as a child I notice)

 

Me: becasue you helped me see that I was an abusive jerk.

 

English lady: I have absolutely no problem with you if you show me - and others - respect. People will get defensive if you attack them. Speak to them in a reasoned way and you'll have no problem. You can contribute to our page if you want to raise a valid question or make a point but you can do it without being abusive. You obviously can do it, as can be seen above.

 

Me: So will you be my friend?

 

English lady: on the proviso that I can just block you if you become abusive again? I am actually a kind and compassionate person but also have a short fuse when people are rude and attack me, my family, my party or my country. We are all working hard behind the scenes to put things right and are really the only party run by the people of England for the people of England.I am old enough to remember how this country used to be and it is very sad to see what has happened to it. And we all owe it to the men and women whose lives were devastated by two world wars, to make sure they did not do what they did in vain. Didn't die in vain; weren't injured in vain. I just want you to understand that. I would also like to know why you would like to add me as a friend. I am much older than you I think, for a start - and very political.

 

(BLAH BLAH SHUT THE HELL UP! I CAN SEE YOUR PRO POLITIC YOU DONT SHUT UP YAPPING!)

 

Me: Just kidding gearbox! I dont want to be your friend! I'm a total bad ass!

FELLS GOOD TO WIN HUH! YOU LIKE THAT TWO IN THE MOUTH!! OH YEAAAAAH!!!!!!

 

Oh man Im so FREAKING genetically superior!!!! REMEMBER ME one day I will be ruling you!

 

English Lady:

sorry darling, still haven't won. Haven't frightened or upset me, haven't intimidated me. Just made me see what a freak you really are. You don't have to convince me. You are obsessed with winning though. Still seek that psychiatric help I suggested.. You are in dire need of it.

 

HAVEN'T WON AT ALL AND YOU KNOW IT. THIS IS THE LAST WORD, YOU WILL NOT HEAR FROM ME AGAIN AND I WILL BE USING THE DELETE BUTTON.

 

(With the mighty CAP REPLY I SHUDDER IN FEAR!)

 

Me: I think you need a good old pogo stick session, the old in and out will do wonders for your crabby attitude. I know plenty of blind people who will offer help.

HAHAHAHHA! OMG! IM GOING TO CUM!

 

TEH END!!!!

TA DAAAAA!

[Hera]

...and I kept hearing all this in a british accent. No matter how vulgar or angry you people get, you still sound very efficient with your dialect. Not intimidating whatsoever hahahaha

[emsley]

She knew I was winding her up