list of fake Confucius sayings

[Elazul Yagami]

Confucius say

 

Confucius say, virginity like bubble. One prick - all gone

Confucius say, man who do business in whore house get jerked around

Confucius say, baseball wrong. Man with four balls not able to walk

Confucius say, panties not best thing on earth, but next to it

Confucius say, war not determine who right. War determine who left

Confucius say, woman who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house

Confucius say, man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night

Confucius say, it take many nail to build crib, one screw to fill it

Confucius say, man who keep feet on ground have trouble putting on pants

Confucius say, if you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient

Confucius say, passionate kiss like spider web, soon lead to undoing of fly

Confucius say, better to be pissed off than pissed on

Confucius say, man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day long

Confucius say, couple on seven day honeymoon make whole week

Confucius say, woman who go camping must beware of evil intent

Confucius say, squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts

Confucius say, man who run before bus get tired

Confucius say, man who run behind bus get exhausted

Confucius say, man with tool in woman's mouth not necessarily dentist

Confucius say, man who make love on side of hill not on level

Confucius say, sex is like the army, the closer you are to discharge, the better you feel

Confucius say, man with tight trousers is pressing his luck

Confucius say, man who stand on toilet high on pot

Confucius say, man who eat crackers in bed wake up feeling crummy

Confucius say, man with hand in pocket all day not crazy, just feeling nuts

Confucius say, man who sleep in bed of nails is holy

Confucius say, do not drink and park, accidents cause people

Confucius say, man who put pea in soup very unclean

Confucius say, man who run through airport turnstile backward going to Bangkok

Confucius say, boy who go to sleep with sex problem on mind wake up with solution in hand

Confucius say, man who fishes in another woman's well, often catches crab

Confucius say, to meet girl in park is good, but to park meat in girl is better

Confucius say, squirrel lay on rock and crack nuts, man lay on crack and rock nuts

Confucius say, butcher who back into meat grinder get a little behind in his orders

Confucius say, man who live in glass house, should change in basement

Confucius say, man who shoot off mouth, must expect to lose face

Confucius say, man with big mouth beware of foot

Confucius say, man who fart in church, sit in own pew

Confucius say, woman who fly upside down have crack up

Confucius say, man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion

Confucius say, man under wheelbarrow playing with tool, not necessarily mechanic

Confucius say, house without bathroom is uncanny

Confucius say, foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ

Confucius say, man who sits on stool smells like crap

Confucius say, man who throws dirt is losing ground

Confucius say, woman who go to man's apartment for snack, get titbit

Confucius say, man who lay woman on ground, get piece on earth

Confucius say, man who get kicked in testicles, left holding the bag

Confucius say, man who kisses girl's behind, get crack in face

Confucius say, girl who ride bicycle, peddle ass all over town

Confucius say, man with censor in peanut butter jar, flocking nuts

Confucius say, man who buy drowned cat, get wet ass

Confucius say, man trapped in pantry, have ass in jam

Confucius say, learn to masturbate - come in handy

Confucius say, girl who sit on jockey's lap get hot tip

Confucius say, girl who sit on judge's lap get honorable discharge

Confucius say, waitress who sit on lepper's lap, keep tip

Confucius say, man who snort coke, get bubbles up nose

Confucius say, cow with no legs, ground beef

Confucius say, two wrongs not make right, but two rights make U-turn

Confucius say, baby born in car with automatic transmission, grow to become shiftless bastard

Confucius say, finding old man in dark, not hard

Confucius say, man who smoke pot, choke on handle

Confucius say, OK for crap to happen - will decompose

Confucius say, man with head on railroad track, listening for train to come, get splitting headache

Confucius say, sailor who get discharged from navy, leave buddies behind

Confucius say, secretary become permanent fixture, when screwed on desk

Confucius say, man who drive like hell, bound to get there

Confucius say, man who sit on tack, get point

Confucius say, man who put cream in tart, not always baker

Confucius say, woman who spend much time on bedspring, may get offspring

Confucius say, sex on beach like American beer - flocking near water

Confucius say, man who masturbate, only screwing himself

Confucius say, woman who dance wearing jock strap, have make believe ballroom

Confucius say, support bacteria - is only culture some people have

Confucius say, man with athletic finger, make broad jump

Confucius say, man who sit on upturned tack, rise above all

Confucius say, wash face in morning, neck at night

Confucius say, man who have last laugh, not get joke

Confucius say, man who sleep with old hen, find it better than pullet

Confucius say, man piss in wind, wind piss back

Confucius say, man who eat ass, do lip service

Confucius say, girl who marry detective, like to kiss dick

Confucius say, men may have more hair on chest than woman, but on the whole, women have more

Confucius say, woman wearing G-string, high on crack

Confucius say, virgin with thimble on finger, never feel prick

Confucius say, man who pull woman's bra strap, may get bust in face

Confucius say, woman who pounce on dead rooster, go down on limp cock

Confucius say, man who fall in vat of molten glass, make spectacle of self

Confucius say, man who jump through screen door, strain self

Confucius say, man who push piano down mine shaft, likely to get A flat minor

Confucius say, man who put face in punchbowl, get punch in nose

Confucius say, woman who sink in man's arms, soon have arms in man's sink

Confucius say, man who put cock on stove, have hot rod

Confucius say, man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day

Confucius say, man who jizz in cash register come into money

Confucius say, man who drop watch in toilet have crappy time

Confucius say, man who eat too many prunes, get good run for money

Confucius say, man who finger girl having period get caught red handed

Confucius say, man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with smelly fingers

[Agozer]

Confucius was a strange man.