Jump to content
Search In
  • More options...
Find results that contain...
Find results in...

emsley

1Emu Veteran
  • Content Count

    6,779
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    19

Blog Entries posted by emsley

  1. emsley
    Behold! Things that suck!
     
    1. People who use the word "seshening!" on facebook - Primarly used to describe "Been intoxicated with alchol - cannabis - cocaine - and anything else that is availabile at the time. If I could re-coin this phrase it would read thusly: "I'm a fag." Not only does the use of this word come losely from the garbitual mouths of less than intelligent people - it also implies that A) You have no life. and You turn to "sheshening" when you are bored or have not reached a level of anxeity reduced state for quite some time hence the excitement often followed by exclamation marks to get this point across that they are happy to refuel their habbit. Yes people in other words when someone says "seshening" it normally means I am drug dependent and also un happy and will take drugs with many other people who too are in the same boat as me. Sadly these people tend to breed while "seshening" bring more and more doomed indivuduals to the earth.
     
    2. Been raped in prison.
     
    3. Been forced to wait in line.
     
    4. Not been able to shoot people who you can plainly see have no contribuations other than misery to the planet look her for an example of someone who would greatly benefit from been able to shoot people.

    No waiting, no forgivness, no understanding just a good old fashioned bullet to the head (and two too the balls just incase)
     
    5. Waiting on Aliens colonial marines to arrive.
     
    6. Waiting for Postal 3 to arrive.
     
    7. The state of the benefit system in England.
     
    8. The state of England.
     
    Behold! A list of thing's that are pretty neat!
     
    1. My blog.
     
    2. Free meals at my mothers house.
     
    3. Pussy.
     
    4. Beer - sadly if you have too much you feel like shit.
     
    5. That's it I'm done.
     
    Emsley.
  2. emsley
    I was outside digging in my front garden for buried treasure with my shirt off when a Hot blond chick walked past and did not even look at me i immediately knew from all my hours of Pick artist schooling she secretly wanted me to have my way with her so I snuck up behind her and popped her one in the back of the head with my fist, she just yelled "ow" like a pussy and looked at me so I drove the shovel him for the win, with a satisfying "Wham" sound she was out cold.
     
    I dragged her by her feet to my back garden and threw her next to a pile of stuff i had found in the street and went back to digging for treasure.
     
    A few hours later I had not found anything so I went to check on my new girlfriend when she came round I stood there flexing my pecks, i said "How hot am I baby! yeah!" She said some woman stuff about kidnapping and assault but I told her to shut the hell up or I would pee on her, but I peed on her anyway and lold she called me a sick bastard.
     
    I slapped her on the ass and said "You like that."
     
    i promised I wouldn't make love to her until she felt comfortable with me and said to come on inside my house while I play video games (I knew this would impress possibly even amaze her!) she wouldn't move so i threw her over my back and carried her in side.
     
    i made her a tuna sandwich and give her a can of larger to add to my awesome.
    I was very pleased with my self this was probably the best pick up I have ever done in my life!!!
     
    She didn't eat the tuna sandwich or drink her beer. So I called her a selfish bitch and showed her pictures of starving kids on the internet and said "They would give anything for a tuna sandwich and a can of beer."
     
    She started crying and saying sorry. Haha Noob! Guilt trip!!!
     
    Anyway turns out I was insane and Im not allowed near women any more.
    Pfft! What they they know about a pick up artist!
×
×
  • Create New...