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You are what you drink.....


L.S.D

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WHAT DO YOU DRINK???

A recent magazine survey, interviewed fifty bartenders and they were asked if they could identify a customer's personality on what drinks they ordered. Although interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

 

WOMEN WHO DRINK:

Drink : Beer.

Personality : Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.

Approach : Invite her to a game of pool.

 

Drink : Cocktails or Blender drinks with umbrella.

Personality : Flaky, annoying, ditzy, and a pain in the ass.

Approach : Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

 

Drink : Mixed drinks but no umbrellas. eg: Scotch and dry.

Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants.

Approach : If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink.....

 

Drink : Water

Personality : Pretentious and is looking for a serious relationship.

Approach : Don't.

 

Drink : Wine - (bottled not 4 liter cask)

Personality : Conservative and classy, sophisticated.

Approach : Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.

 

Drink : Bacardi Breezer, Lemon Ruskie, West Coast Cooler, etc

Personality : Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has absolutely no clue.

Approach : Make her feel smarter than she is

 

Drink : Baileys.

Personality : Annoying voice, bit of a tart.

Approach : Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.

 

Drink : Shots and Slammers (Tequila, Vodka, Aftershock etc.)

Personality : Hangs around with male work pals or looking to get drunk...and naked.

Approach : Easiest hit in the pub. Nothing to do but wait........

 

 

MEN WHO DRINK:

Cider: He's probably under-aged and wants to get laid.....

 

Cheap Domestic Beer : He's poor / student and wants to get laid.

 

Premium Local Beer : He likes good beer and wants to get laid..

 

Bitter : He's old, he likes good beer and wants to get laid...

 

Imported Beer : He likes expensive beer and wants to get laid.

 

Guinness : The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.

 

Water : He just threw up and is trying to wash the taste out of his mouth and still wants to get laid....

 

Wine : He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid.....

 

Vodka: Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf... Desperate to get laid.....

 

Port : Thinks he's sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid....

 

Whisky : He doesn't give two craps about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.....

 

Flavored rum : Knows all about feminine activities (knitting, cooking, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid.

 

Rum or Tequila : Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid...

 

Bacardi Breezer, Lemon Ruskie, West Coast Cooler etc : He's gay (blatantly...). Don't turn your back or pick up

any dropped change.

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Vodka: Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf...  Desperate to get laid.....

Hahaha! That's me!

LOL! Ok, here's a warm scarf for you, Gryph :D

I drink premium beer so, yeah I like good beer and I wanna get laid :D

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What about bukkake lovers? What kind of personality do they have? Heh.

Outgoing?....Why did this topic get into bukkake again? :D

 

I don't drink...anymore. I've got to the point where I dislike the taste of alcohol. I'm an absolutist of sorts.

Edited by Agozer
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I don't drink...anymore. I've got to the point where I dislike the taste of alcohol. I'm an absolutist of sorts.

Wow, it seems that you have lost one of the pleasures in life :D

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I don't drink...anymore. I've got to the point where I dislike the taste of alcohol. I'm an absolutist of sorts.

Wow, it seems that you have lost one of the pleasures in life :D

I do drink ciders and Long Drinks occasionally, but I do so to keep company, not so much for my own pleasure.

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