It's hard work been a normal guy.

[emsley]

The past few years I have mellowed the fuck out, and for some reason have become some kind of problem fixer for people I know. I listen before I judge and try to understand how that other person is feeling, before I would just bark or sort out what was thrown at me as quickly as possible.

Now im like this figure of understanding - with all the problems my mother and father are going throw and some of my other family members I feel like im having to be the rock for it all, and this seems to include taking negative shit of people some times. (Which I still only let go so far)

 

I even find my self thinking "fuck it" to people who have done me wrong who I swore I would fuck over.

Maybe I am re-adjusting after coming off the beer, hell I Don't even know where this road is going so far, I constantly lack the feeling of accomplishment in my life and resent those that have done the things I have always wanted to do small amount of jealousy perhaps.

 

Like last night im looking over some stuff on face-book and notice a guy has done some of the things i wanted to do (bit of travling) and i thought, how the fuck have you managed to afford all that?

Why does this money making thing elude me?

I Dont even want to be rich just want to make enough to do some good things with my life.

I spent the past two years just getting drunk moping about the past, and how my teeth got kicked in over and over again and i got no justice.

 

i feel like I have earned my own personal diploma in my life for the past 3 or 4 years.

[someboddy]

Usually the problem is that you think about doing things instead of just going ahead and doing them. When you spend your time thinking instead of doing, not only you waste time - you also find many problems and use them as excuses not to do the thing you want, or delay it. Most of those problems are pretty easy to solve by crossing the bridge when you reach it - which you won't unless you stop thinking and start doing.

 

Now, I don't say you shouldn't plan - doing stuff without planning is not always wise - but you should limit your planning to the preparations, not to the actual acts.

 

Remember - instead of thinking about what you want to do - just do it. If that advice sounds stupid and cliche - that's because you are thinking about it, instead of doing it!

[emsley]

Im just going back to been a pirate - but a sober one.