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Transitions aren't short in real life

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My Spider-Web has cought me yet again.

It's 3 A.M.   I'm in my room yet again, staring at the monitor dreaming of how my life "should" be. I can't get a grip of myself, I'm noticing the paleness of my skin (for the sunlight has only been seen twice this entire week).   I feel like I'm loosing myself again, in my own world where all I do everyday is grind in the imaginary, hope in the dreamworld, and accomplish nothing while gaining the self-portrait of superiority. I'm still a child, I have 2 months left to grow up. But I've been do

Lucandrake

Lucandrake

Collapsing like gravity

It's all getting through. All the pain, all the sadness, all the fucking anxiety issues and stress. It's crawling up me like a determined solder aiming to strike down my very heart. I've been craving a "let loose", seriously. Booz, a fucking cig, some weed, anything! It's all crushing my mind at the pace of a recently married rabbit on a bed. I haven't slept well in over a week. I failed one class this past semester. The view of loneliness, despite the family and friends I've made this past year

Lucandrake

Lucandrake

Evolution of Media

I'm beginning to realize more loosely what I want to accomplish. Although fear is still in place, the idea of changing my daily routine to fit a healthy lifestyle is required before I go full force with the plans up ahead. I figure that a man attempting to figure out art, is stuck with the question of self before realizing masterpiece. Ahead of this current challenge of my life, ahead a few years from now, I wish to only see what I should be doing, instead of what I don't want to do. If I see m

Lucandrake

Lucandrake

Feeling emotional isn't suffecient to commencing action

So you're angry because you managed to ignore the homeless man on your way to work. You're sad because you realized not everyone in your family was upside down frowning as much as they should. Howling at the relentlessness of the children not in America, for opportunity has only been originated in the country of "liberty". Tear full of the heart who tells you to stop punching the bloody love of yours, for the right thing to do is not the thing you wanna do. Expressive and loud for the event of p

Lucandrake

Lucandrake

Gotta keep writing, gotta keep living

I realized I stopped writing for a bit, it coincides with the current struggles of my life. I've fixed my sleeping habits at least 3 different times this summer, and have broken it 4. But fuck it, I've written about me plenty here so that if anyone was ever to read it they could put together the pieces and figure out why I am the way I am. Although giant chunks of it are not present (IE: My father), I remember writing them down in threads during my earlier years on this board. So while not all i

Lucandrake

Lucandrake

Influence

Thinking about the energetic properties of our creative tools brings me to question the purpose of creating media. Many state it as an expression to self, and that everything stops there. That you are merely stating how you feel with your joy, and wish to let go of everything on your mind. What if it influences the mind in a way that further pauses your ability to move forward? I ask because I'm unable to write anything when a smile is on my face. I'm unable to come up with purpose towards words

Lucandrake

Lucandrake

The Bravery - Fearless

I relapse like a bitch when it comes to games. Thankfully I've learned to let go of them over the years to the point where it doesn't effect me as much as they used too. Yesterday I went out for a walk for the first time in months, it was rigorous! When I came back my shoulders where hurting, from a walk! I know it's not something to be proud of, but I felt alive, I felt human, and here in reality. Instead of still in a fucking imaginary world where the only pain I feel is the pain of loneliness

Lucandrake

Lucandrake

Framing Hanley - Lollipop Cover

Auto-tuners! One of the best and worst inventions in music history. Having heard Wayne/T-Pain/Timbaland all have shit voices when off the computerencial influence. It isn't even one of those "his voice sounds bad when he speaks because he's conserving it for he entertains" kind of voices, it's a straight up "I'm rough" voice that's thrown out there. Knowing that these people can't really vocalize well within music, I can only imagine the amount of frustration this adds to true vocalists. People

Lucandrake

Lucandrake

I watched The Raid tonight

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWlmhMSnVdM   Let me start off by saying that I'm a little bias towards this "type" of film. I feel that films like this one, Scott Pilgrim, 300, and The Warriors; should be classified as "Beat Em Up's". The exposition is kept to a minimum, chatter is straight to the point (or used for a comedic tune to turn down the suspension), and there are boss battles everywhere. So in short, I enjoyed it very much, a long with the cinematography, and its music.   The film's

Lucandrake

Lucandrake

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