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I have a problem

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41 replies to this topic

#1
Fatal Rose

Fatal Rose

    Societal stigma

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Well if you guys remember this thread than you will know who I am talking about. After the should I do this thread and the incident I had with her at her house I kind of forgot about her. Well recently I and my friends have been going over there again lately. Well that started stirring up all kinds of weird feelings and emotions inside of me. I did not think it was going to matter to me but seeing her again was a much bigger deal to me than expected. It's weird me and friend go over to visit his cousin Mario and we always stay late and we all end up being there when she gets home from bingo with her mom, and we always end up outside at the dinner liek table in there backyard talking.

Usually we don't get to talk much because her mom is always right there and her brother. The evening was rather uneventful about two weeks ago, my friends got drunk and I didn’t because I don't drink and so I was chilling there all bored until she got home and we all went out to the backyard and sat at that table and had ourselves a little chit chat. Again I did not get to say much or do anything because her mom was right there and I felt uncomfortable. There were moments where we were just staring at each other, (it made me want to dive over the table at her and rip her clothes off)

But all in all nothing happened.
Until this sat5urday that just passed. Well if you know me in real life you know that I have been rather depressed lately, so my friend said to drink this time, I agreed because I had nothing else better to do. I have never been able to hold my liquor well no matter what kind it was and on top of that I had not had a drink for probably 3 years before that. Well we bought a bunch of liquor and made margaritas (sp?) After about my fourth cup I was gone (yea go ahead and laugh) I could not walk straight, see straight, among other things, I was acting way out of character. Than on top of that I had 4 more drinks after that. Damn was I blown. I was walking around doing martial arts moves and showing off, giving any random person a hug, took off my shirt, did the splits both ways, spilled liquor all over my friend and blamed it on him say he pissed his pants, I just made a complete fool out of myself.
Than all of the sudden (around 12 PM) my friend’s cousin came up to me and said "Ryan you have to calm down! My parents and my sister are coming home! Please stop!" I was ok man don't worry about it. I took a seat because I was tired than his dad came in, I tried as hard as I could to act sober and normal but thankfully he did not talk to me that much. Well he went to bed. Than the inevitable happened and they all went out side to talk and smoke. I followed against my friend’s cousin wishes and took a seat my self. I was acting way more out going than usual, way friendlier and not shy at all (usually I am very shy, especially when a friend’s parents/ ants and uncles are around). I am even shyer than ever over there because my best friend’s ant does not speak English, only Spanish. Than all of the sudden my friend’s cousin started translating all this stuff that she was saying to me, about me being very handsome and polite. That I look like Johnny Depp(SP?) and some other complements. Well I thanked her in a much exaggerated way (people say I always sound sarcastic and fake, so imagine how I sound when I am drunk) than her daughter (the should I do this chick) agreed with her. Throughout the conversation there were times that we started staring at each other and, we starred at each other in the eye so much that I got nervous and had to look away. But while we were staring at each other something ignited within me. I started feeling something inside of me that I have not felt in a long time. Emotions, I realized that I like this girl allot. A whole lot. I will admit that I have a huge crush on her. The way she looked at me really got to me.

She looked like she was happy to see but she was trying to be strong and hold back what she wants to say, hold back her true feelings. For some reason it was so special to me. That evening staring into each others eyes, holding back our true feelings that we both know is there right in front of us on the table served but we have yet to take a bite because of the certain situations we are in. I want to spend a or day with her, so we can really get to know each other, I don't care about the sex part as much anymore. I want to know more about her, and what she thinks/feels about me. The sad thing is that I want everything to do with her but nothing to do with her kids. I know it might make me sound like a jerk but I am being honest. I am in no position to take up a task such as that nor do I want or have any interest what so ever in raising kids. What’s wrong with me? Why do I like this girl? Why does she like me? I don't know what to do anymore. I left it alone for a while but now it has started up again. I am so confused I don't even know what to type anymore. Can anyone relate to this? Can anyone help me? ~ from 2emulation.

Edited by Fatal Rose, 15 September 2004 - 05:11 AM.


#2
Alpha

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As I stated in "The Reject Emulation Site!"...

Stay AWAY!!!
Use Self Discipline..When your mind is reeling with anticipation, you are sure you have given yourself away with the short gasps in your breathing so try to calm yourself. You realize you are turned on and surprised somehow by that. You wonder at your heart and will it stop trying to leap out of your chest. Another lesson in trust? The wine has completely invaded your body and you feel slightly lightheaded. :pissedoff:

#3
OverlordMondo

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Omg, I am like totally not the person to ask for relationship advice. Come back to me when you want to end a relationship.

That said, go for it, there can't be that much to lose...or gain...so you come out even.

#4
Weirdy

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well...perhaps it was meant to be B)

but who knows

#5
Weirdy

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another thing

you have to think about your future as well. Are you attending college? If so, you might wanna finish that off.

or you could go straight to becoming "big poppa Ryan" takin' care of the kids B)

#6
random guy

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Like I said in the other board, the kids aren't going to go away.

#7
AntiWinner22

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Fatal, seriously, have you not ANY self control?

"Wahh, wahh, I can't control my peni$, wahh, wahh."

flock that. You know you can, but you just don't want to. I am tired of your wining when problems you have are INCREDIBLY easy to handle with a bit of logic and self control.

Anon.

NOTE: Peni$ is a bad word?

Edited by AntiWinner22, 15 September 2004 - 02:11 PM.


#8
Agozer

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NOTE: Peni$ is a bad word?

Well, does it get filtered if you write it the "right "way? B)

#9
Gryph

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NOTE: Peni$ is a bad word?

Yes, I learned that the hard way a long time ago. So is vag ina.

But anyway, as I said in the reject emulation site, 2emulation:

Again, you must stay away. As a martial artist you should learn discipline and what better way to do it than to deprive yourself of sex with this woman.

#10
Fatal Rose

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You guys are right but I am real weak emotionally right now.

#11
saiyanfire

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another thing

you have to think about your future as well. Are you attending college? If so, you might wanna finish that off.

or you could go straight to becoming "big poppa Ryan" takin' care of the kids <_<

LOL! big poppa ryan....ne way that was too much reading so im too mad at you for making me read that to give u advice :P




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